beccarivers
Impermanent Permanence
Buying the home where, God-willing, you plan to spend the rest of your days. Having the kids who consume and take and fill every crevice of your being. Coming face to face with what...
Aging in the Information Age
I recently went to my OB/GYN, and we chatted. I should tell you that I want to be best friends with her, but I recognize it might be weird. She has had her arm...
A Lesson on Dating for My Daughters
The facts are this: I dated someone for a turbulent ten years. We broke up for good one morning, and I did not see him again for another ten years.
The irony of the anticipation...
Progress Over Perfection
It's a pretty common idea, a buzz-worthy phrase even–progress over perfection.
I was journaling this morning, a la Artist's Way–check it out, by the way– and the parallels in my parenting and my spiritual life...
Our New Old House
I've never lived in an established neighborhood before. The neighborhoods of my youth all began with dirt clods and lumber frames and families filling cul-de-sacs together. There's a picture of myself at nearly two...
Sentimentality Is Killing Me
Sentimentality is killing me.
It’s the whimsy piano theme that plays while children skip through sun-dappled fields in neutral tones. Little bows bounce on the ends of braids, and little grubby palms cup a frog....
Parenting: Like Learning To Ride A Bike
My four-year-old learned to ride her bike recently. At first, it was just her and me during the day. She woke up ready to ride, and her six-month-old sister was happy to oblige from...
Post Holiday Me: Unplugged
I sat down to write, and all my brain could muster was, "what could you even write about?" I could write about how the holidays are over and, thanks to antidepressants, this has been...
Preschool Scaries
At a family reunion this summer, my cousin, whom I hadn't seen in ten years, asked if my daughter was in preschool. And she then was positively dismayed when I said she wasn't. She...
Bans Off Our Bodies
The older I get, the more I become aware of this war on women. It's quiet, demure– the way I've always been told I should be. I recently told my three-year-old daughter about "tricky...
An Ode To The Things That Keep Me Up At Night
Oh husband’s breath, that does keep me awakeDoth snort and rattle and grumble and quakeA pillow to whack, but stop short insteadQuick google search– ‘how much for two twin beds?’My Googling fingers dance to...
Life Comes at You Fast
Three days ago, at four am I sent my husband a two-page google doc simply titled, “I’m angry.” So yeah, I’d say I’ve rounded the proverbial bend. I told him that I could not...
Do People Still Say ‘In Your Feelings’ ?
I’ve been prone to depressive episodes for as long as I can remember. As a kid, graduating to the next level of swim lessons, family visits ending, being gifted my first bra from my...
Our Journey: We Are Pregnant
My husband wanted to announce our pregnancy at 12 weeks on social media. I was 12 weeks pregnant on Father’s Day, and he had had such little control in any of this. We had...