An Ode To The Things That Keep Me Up At Night


awakeOh husband’s breath, that does keep me awake
Doth snort and rattle and grumble and quake
A pillow to whack, but stop short instead
Quick google search– ‘how much for two twin beds?’

My Googling fingers dance to the ‘gram
Eyes bright as I gobble pyramid scams.
Ah sweet phone, my true beacon, my flambeau.
Tell me things, and keep me warm in your glow.

My droopy eyelids start to slide to sleep
But wait, what’s that–the tiny feet that creep
Here by my bedside, now inches from me
‘Mommy? Oh Mommy, I’m starting to pee.’

By some miracle now, the snoring stopped.
In time to follow toddler feet that clop
Down the hall to her sacred bathroom throne
Dear God who is that in the mirror I groan.

Back to bed, scamper my toddler and me.
But wait! Bandaid, story, and riddles three!
My back creaks and cracks as I beg to snooze
But new Wordle by now– I shan’t refuse!

Blessed Wordle solved and right on cue
A baby cry– oh Sandman, do come through
A robust sand dumping on all our house
May every great and small get quite the douse.

That is except, my husband, true and dear.
Let night cries, thumps and bumps be his to hear.
The dog is barking, free to a good home!
Petfinder ad? Or just feral to roam?

The final straw arrives, and it’s just this,
That robot vacuum and each wall it hits.
Here is where I stop and begin to pray
Dear God, thank you for blessing me this way.

For years I prayed for this family.
Stupid Golden Retriever, even he.
Two sweet daughters, not asleep but in beds.
And this big loud ogre with whom I’ve bred.

So when the night falls, and I cannot sleep.
For all these thoughts that lurk, slither, and creep
When I dream to scream ‘bleep- bleepity- bleep!’
Perhaps I’ll count blessings instead of sheep.