For the better part of the last eight years, the eight years since I’ve become a mother, I’ve been tired. Lately, the tiredness has shifted from sleep-deprived and mentally exhausted from being the default parent to two little girls to being burnt out and overwhelmed as a full-time teacher mom to kids with ever-increasing extracurricular schedules. I was in a funk, and something had to change. But how do you take on change when the thought of getting out of the mud is just too overwhelming?
I was first introduced to the idea of “Wintering” from Katherine May’s book Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times. Her concept embraces a deep retreat into one’s self and understanding that much like the seasons, life is cyclical and that hard times will pass. Rest, reflection, and repair are crucial to our growth. The mental load of managing our lives while also trying to juggle everything had caught up with me in ways I hadn’t expected. In the words of one of the ’90s best one-hit wonders from Chumbawamba, “ I get knocked down, but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down.” I was sure embracing a season of wintering was the answer, so I set my plans in motion like a squirrel gathering their winter store. While this process took a bit of effort and planning, I’m so happy with the results. Here are a few of the steps I implemented during my Wintering Era.
Fill your cup: Find intentional time each day to do something that fills your cup. This is reading and getting some movement in, preferably out in nature, in my case.
Say No to Anything that Isn’t an Immediate Yes: If I don’t have the urge to say yes to a commitment immediately, it is a no. While this isn’t always realistic (I mean, who wants to work on a dreary, dark Monday morning?), it has kept our calendar clear of obligations that aren’t fulfilling in this season. There will be plenty of other seasons for saying yes. The mental load of getting everyone ready, out the door, and the organization of all the moving parts was preventing rest right now.
Put Life on Mental Autopilot: While this may not be the reality for everyone, I am the physical and mental manager of almost everything in our home. This meant I needed to put life on autopilot for a while to give myself room for rest. I planned our meals for a month, used meal-planning boxes, set up all bills to auto-pay, scheduled a delivery of our home essentials, and finished buying Christmas gifts for everyone. This took some time, but I’m already enjoying the free time and the reduced mental load.
Reflect Inward: Confession…I hate journaling. I’m sure it works for some people, but for me, it just hasn’t ever stuck. When I have a bad day, I blast my favorite playlist, turn on Gilmore Girls, or You’ve Got Mail, or reread one of my favorite books for the hundredth time (A Bend in the Road by Nicholas Sparks is my favorite comfort read), why couldn’t that work for this season too? Plan time to indulge in the amenities that ease your soul, body, and mind.
While wintering may not solve all my feelings of overwhelm and burnout, I’m optimistic that I’ve allowed myself to catch up mentally, so I’m better able to handle all that life seems to be throwing at us in this new season of motherhood and life. It’s not a perfect solution, but it’s helped me breathe again. One gentle step at a time feels like the right pace and, for now, that feels like enough.
