A mother like Ma Ingalls, not Mother Gothel; Marmee, not Mrs. Wormwood; even the slightly imperfect Mrs. Quimby would do. These are the maternal idols of children’s literature. Sometimes unconventional, like the beloved Miss Honey, these women embodied strength, steadfastness, patience, and love for their adoring children. When I envisioned having kids one day, I aspired to be just like them. But when I did become a mother, I soon realized that motherhood was the most challenging role I had ever taken on, and being that perfect would not be easy.
While these women still possess many admirable qualities I strive to emulate, I’ve increasingly found myself drawn to imperfect mothers over my six years as a mom. I love my children to the depths of the Earth and would do anything to ensure their safety and happiness, but I don’t always get this motherhood thing right on the first try. I yell, get frustrated, and eagerly await bedtime more often than I’d like to admit. I’m not a perfect mother, and I believe it’s high time we celebrated motherhood role models who “right the ship” when they make mistakes rather than getting everything right from the start. While I have no intention of turning into a villain, here are three books featuring unconventional mothers that I believe deserve our appreciation.
Eleanor Bennett from “Black Cake” by Charmaine Wilkerson
This profound and moving story of family, acceptance, and tradition immediately captured my heart. Eleanor made numerous challenging and, at times, questionable choices throughout her life and journey into motherhood. The consequences undeniably altered her children’s lives forever, yet they loved her and cherished memories of their time together. She excelled in creating a warm and joyful home for her children. It was clear her presence resonates through countless experiences and memories.
Motherhood lesson: Your children will remember the experiences and how you made them feel. Bake the cookies, share family recipes, take the trip, and establish traditions.
Hannah from “The Last Thing He Told Me” by Laura Dave
We’ve all heard tales of wicked stepmothers, but this thriller finds Hannah sacrificing everything for her stepdaughter, whom she has known for only a short time. Hannah makes some impulsive decisions to solve the mystery of her husband’s disappearance, but her dedication to Bailey’s well-being is always evident.
Motherhood lesson: It’s acceptable to prioritize your child’s best interests, even if it may hurt or upset others.
Lara from “Tom Lake” by Ann Patchett
In this exquisitely written novel, centered on Lara’s three daughters returning to help run the family’s Michigan cherry orchard during the COVID-19 pandemic, Lara shares her pre-motherhood life as an actress and a summer romance with a now-famous actor with her adult daughters. Lara’s optimism sometimes appears excessive given the state of the world at the time, but she is genuinely grateful for the time spent with her growing daughters, sharing stories of her life with them.
Motherhood lesson: Discuss your life and your past beyond the realm of motherhood. It’s perfectly fine for your children to see you as an individual with interests outside of them and a life that existed before your motherhood journey and will continue after they are grown.
Perhaps my motherhood perfection will arrive one day, but until then, I have a few literary role models to guide me through this journey. Even if that moment of perfection never emerges, I think I’ll be okay. I’m thankful for the opportunity to be a perfectly imperfect mother to the best little humans I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing.
