How we talk about others matters. As our lives have become more digital and more of our communication is done through sharing messages, sending memes, reading the news, and scrolling on our phones, we have lost the understanding that how we talk about others matters.
There’s a problem in our society with how we are talking about others. Modern forms of media don’t reward nuance or thoughtful dialogue. What gets hits is the dialogue that makes us feel good about ourselves. The proclamations that tell us how right we are and how anyone who doesn’t share our worldview is OBVIOUSLY misinformed or even an idiot. Then those same messages signal to us that we don’t need the “others”. All this does is lead to camps of self-righteous thinking and growing disdain for fellow humans. It’s reflected in how voices from social media influencers, commenters on social forums, and even government leadership talk about their fellow humans- they are described as “others”.
“Othering” is the practice of labeling people who are different from us in some way as different and inferior to the dominant social group. In a world where problems seem overwhelming and solutions impossible to realize, “othering” has become a dominant coping mechanism. Unfortunately, “othering” doesn’t solve problems; it only leads to more division, isolation, and shifts blame from the true causes of problems to scapegoats. The truth is that no one is going to save us from our echo chambers. I have come to that uncomfortable realization lately. While it sounds dramatic and catastrophic, it’s the truth. If we want to turn down the dial on the vitriol and the “othering” of our society, it is up to us. How we talk about others matters.
How many of us have found ourselves doom-scrolling and feeling better about ourselves as we watch short-form videos and read proclamations of how our worldview is the CORRECT view and rewards us with proclamations of praise for being on the right side of a viewpoint? The dopamine hit that comes from that is real. It’s why the algorithm hits and keeps us scrolling. This is not meant to dismiss the real concerns and authentic emotions involved in so many facets of life. If you feel as though a politician or their policies will make the world more unsafe for your child, or an attack on a media influencer’s way of life makes you feel as if your life choices are being shamed, this elicits a real emotional response. “Othering” offers an easy victim to blame. This is why how we talk about others matters. If we fill our algorithms with content that just reaffirms our pre-held beliefs and excludes those who don’t, it builds walls and not connections. Walls don’t solve problems.
How we talk about others matters because to build bridges, strengthen communities, and solve the very real problems that are making life feel overwhelming, we must see others as valuable. I know that I, for one, am tired of the vitriol being used to describe my fellow humans. While the problems that we face are real and challenging, the truth is there’s no easy solution. Solutions will take hard work, and for that to happen, how we talk about others matters.
