As I approach forty, I’ve been reflecting on conscious changes I’ve made in the last decade to feel more comfortable in my own skin, both mentally and physically. While this isn’t an exhaustive list, these ten things feel representative of my life stage and my current priorities. Maybe some will resonate!
- Eat a great breakfast. I’ve always been a breakfast eater, but not a substantial breakfast eater. Throughout high school, college, and my years as a teacher, my breakfast was almost always a piece of peanut butter toast or a breakfast bar for the road. These days, I make a point to eat a protein-packed breakfast, whether it’s scrambled eggs and toast, a smoothie, or overnight oats. I’ve found that fueling my body early in the morning keeps my energy up throughout the day. It usually takes a maximum of five minutes, but it makes such a difference!
- Shop at my favorite thrift store. I love to shop, always have, always will. My friend recently told me about The Toggery in Broadripple, and I stop in once every few weeks to dig for hidden gems. It’s a great way to get my shopping fix at more affordable prices, but more importantly, it feels like a productive way to cut back on clothing waste in our community. I’m delighted to buy quality clothes that others are no longer wearing, and I love bringing my own clothes in for others to peruse too.
- Visit the dermatologist annually. I just don’t play anymore. I’m religious about my annual skin check, and it feels good to know that if there’s any suspicious stuff happening on this 37-year-old skin, we will catch it early.
- Weekly meal plan. I’m not talking anything crazy, y’all. I have a house filled with picky eaters, but my husband and I enjoy variety, so I scratch out a rough draft every Sunday night of three meals I can make for the week that will be satisfying and provide plenty of leftovers. I spent many years aimlessly wandering the grocery store aisles, hoping inspiration would magically befall me, and it feels good to have a plan now.
- Cry a lot. I don’t know if it’s age, hormones, having three kids, or all of the above, but the world feels so much more fragile to me than it once did (in the best and worst ways). I tear up multiple times a day at a song, something my kids say, reading a book, or just thinking about people, their stories, and how much we all need each other.
- Celebrate my friend’s birthdays. As I’ve gotten older and my circle of friends has grown smaller, I try hard to prioritize celebrating my close friends on their birthdays. Whether it’s a coffee drop, taking them to brunch, a walk, or a card delivery, I want my friends to feel how deeply I love and appreciate them. It’s not possible to do this for fifty people, but it is for five, and it matters to me that my friends feel celebrated on their special days.
- Drink coffee in the afternoons. I’m not promoting this or defending it as a healthy habit, but I do it. As 2 pm hits, and I’m gearing up for the most challenging part of my day, you better believe I’m treating myself to a bit of espresso before I greet my kids from the bus.
- Forgive myself. Being a mom, wife, sister, daughter, and friend is hard. I make a lot of mistakes, disappoint people, and sometimes my choices don’t align with my beliefs. I’m learning to end each day by forgiving myself for the areas I’ve fallen short and reminding myself that I’m doing the best I can, just like everyone else.
- Do a load of laundry every day. Laundry can be daunting, but I’ve found that starting a load in the morning and allowing myself the entire day to finish the process (wash, dry, fold, put away) makes me feel accomplished and keeps me from getting too behind. I heard this tip on a podcast years ago, and it has been one of the most practically helpful tips in this season of life.
- Walk–Outside of pouring rain, I walk every day. My walks have become some of the most sacred parts of my day. The fresh air and movement improve my attitude and help me keep perspective. I have learned to love walking in all kinds of weather, and seeing/connecting with my neighbors is a bonus!
In the chaos of having babies and raising kids, I’m often saturated in the present moment, making decisions on the fly, and just trying to be on time for the soccer game. Reflecting on the last ten years was impactful, reminding me that in some ways I’m still the same person, while in others, I’ve become someone I no longer recognize from ten years ago. I don’t know what the future holds, but I anticipate feeling excited to greet 47-year-old Rachel and see who she’s become.
