“Excuse me,” an older gentleman said to my husband as we exited a restaurant. “You really have great daughters there. I was watching you the whole time. You have a wonderful family.”
This man, who had just delivered the sweetest compliment, had gotten up from his seat and his dinner to deliver this praise to our family.
“Thank you,” said my husband, and shook the man’s hand.
Complimenting the parents matters. We had just made the three-and-a-half-hour drive to Saugatuck, Michigan. After we checked into our hotel, we ventured into town to find a kid-friendly place for dinner. My youngest daughter, almost two, had refused to sit in a high chair, so she sat in a regular chair with me, pulling my chair super close so I could be ready to catch her if she fell. Our other daughter, almost eight years old, knows how to behave at restaurants, but isn’t above whining about being bored or wanting to play a game to stay entertained. The dinner had gone surprisingly well, with the waiter bringing Wiki Stix for our oldest, and our youngest playing with her cup of ice in her lap.
The man’s compliment made us feel good. It was unsolicited, for no reason other than that he genuinely thought highly of our family after that meal.
Why does such a compliment like that matter to me? I think it’s because in a world where we praise children, we don’t praise their parents nearly as much. And while my husband and I know we are doing a good job, it’s nice to have words of affirmation every once in a while to validate our efforts.
Years earlier, we had decided to visit the Minnetrista Museum and Grounds in Muncie, Indiana, for a quick fall break trip. Our oldest daughter was an only child and almost four years old. As we ate lunch one day, an older gentleman walked over to our table at lunch and stated, “You have a lovely family. I saw the waitress talking to the three of you and how well your daughter responded. I know how much it takes to get to this point. You all are very blessed.”
Just that previous Monday, we had found out that our pregnancy was actually a chemical pregnancy–a devastating discovery after going through a round of IVF that was mentally, physically, and financially taxing. My husband and I had been distraught with the news. That man’s comments bolstered my spirits and reaffirmed my belief that we would be okay if we stayed a family of three.
Complimenting the parents matters. So many parents are putting in the effort day in and day out; they deserve to be noticed. I hope to pay the compliments forward when I’m older, and I see a younger couple navigating situations that can be hard with children. For now, I’m praising my friends who are raising amazing humans and hoping my husband and I are doing the same as well. According to the kindness of strangers, we are.
