I was born into a large Catholic family in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Our home was always full of people, noise, and complete chaos. In my memories, our home was always packed with people, whether it was friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, or children who were fostered into my family. Prior to my birth, my family fostered, and my mother, at one stage, held the record for the most number of children fostered in one family in Northern Ireland.
In honor of National Foster Care Month, I thought I would write a blog from the point of view of a child within a home that fosters. I have seen many blogs and articles on fostering and how it benefits the foster child, and this is really important to create awareness and recruit foster parents. On the other hand, there is very little from the children in the family that the child is fostered into.
I’ve never really thought of the impact of growing up in a family that fosters until my mother passed away in 2022. When she passed, we had many adult children that she fostered, contact us or come to the memorial to show their respect. I do not have any childhood memories without one of my bonus siblings. We recently found some old photos and not one of them was without a bonus sibling. To me, this was normal; it was normal to have a new brother or sister every few weeks or months, it was normal for that person to leave and to come back intermittently, it was normal to bump into one of these siblings on trips to the supermarket or hairdressers.
My personal experience of being in a family that fostered is one of loads of love and loads of fun. My memories are filled with older sisters who spoiled me and having loads of adventures with my exponentially growing family. I do feel that the children growing up in a family that fosters is rarely discussed, and yet, this impacted my childhood so significantly. It’s strange to think that in this process, which we did not choose for ourselves, the benefits of fostering on the children in the family are rarely discussed, considering many foster parents already have children.
So, what, if any, are the benefits of growing up in a family that fosters? In my opinion, there are many, and I have summarized them below;
Meeting People from Various Backgrounds and Cultures
Growing up in a troubled, war-torn Northern Ireland, there were very few different cultures or races. However, we fostered children who came from the opposite side of our community, and we fostered children who had various physical disabilities, learning disabilities, and mental health issues. When this is something you are brought up with, it is normalized, and it allows you to accept different people and also to develop coping mechanisms for all eventualities.
Empathy
Meeting people from different classes, cultures, races, and with different challenges allows a child to peek into another world, a world they are not familiar with. This allows for greater empathy, kindness, and understanding. I’ve been told many times that I am a nonjudgmental person, and I attribute this to growing up in a family that fosters.
Serving the Community
My mother, as a foster mother and a mental health nurse, was a big believer in serving the community, and not surprisingly, all four of my siblings and I work in jobs that serve the community. Fostering is a fabulous way to support your community, to open a child in needs eyes to a different, safe, and supportive environment. Humans are pack animals. It is in our nature to look after one another and to support our vulnerable people. Fostering is such a beautiful way to show your child how to welcome in and assist those in need.
Additional Love
I had an older foster sister who came to our family when she was 15/16. I was only a few months old, and she just adored me. As we grew older together, she would buy me clothes, put little treats in my lunchbox, and take me to the park. We were always together, and she would walk me to the school bus every morning. She was an additional family member, and all I knew was love from her. How lucky was I as a child to have such a bond with someone!
Additional Fun
What are siblings for? For having fun with! Having bonus siblings meant there was always somebody you could get in trouble with! I’ve rarely heard anyone say they wish they had fewer siblings, and growing up with an abundance of siblings only enhances the adventures.
Growing up in a family that fosters has been such an important part of not only my past but also my present and future. In National Foster Care Month, if you’re considering fostering and you’re not sure how it will impact your children, this might be a good place to start. I’m not saying it was all fun and games; having siblings always brings its own challenges, but what I am saying is that, overall, it is a worthwhile experience!
