I think back to those first weeks, nights, and days of becoming a mother; it was all a blur. When the thought of “what have we done,” “how can we do this,” and “did we just make the biggest mistake ever” ran rampant through my sleep-deprived and overly hormonal brain. Now that I am on the other side of sleep deprivation and post-partum hormones, I know that I was not alone in those thoughts, and they were all non-truths.
I now know that we made the best decision for us to become parents, and we have been able to tackle any and everything thrown our way so far. This leads me to believe that even as my daughter gets older and the challenges change, we will also overcome them. I wish I had had the confidence and foresight I have now during those early days, weeks, and months of parenthood. If only I could have written a letter to myself before having my daughter, to let myself know to trust my instincts. To also let myself know there would be hard days and nights ahead, but my husband and I would get through them together, as a united team.
I would also remind myself that there will be hard decisions to make and things to balance, but at the end of the day, our family’s priority will always be our family. There will still be many decisions to make and things to figure out, but if the priority remains, we will stand strong together. There will still be plenty of times I will question decisions, but I can trust them if we made them for the right reasons.
I would let myself know that watching my husband become a father would be one of the greatest gifts that would only be given to me and my daughter. We would get the honor of watching him become a strong and very involved father who lights up and melts every time she now says, “Daddy, you are the best daddy a daughter could ever have.” I wish I were making that up for clout, but man, she knows how to butter the compliments on us, and I love every minute of it.
I would also remind myself to give myself, my daughter and my husband all grace. This is all our first time living. There will be bumps along the way because none of us are experts in this thing called life yet. There will be times we lose our patience, there will be times of frustration, there will be times none of us feel like we know what we are doing, but we will stick together.
I would let myself know it will be important to prioritize my own mental health during post-partum and the years that follow. One of the best ways will be ensuring I don’t lose myself in the chaos of day-to-day life. Taking the time to learn who I am, outside of being my daughter’s mother, is crucial. I will learn new hobbies, make new friends, and discover ways to cultivate my sense of self that help me grow, so I can be the best version of myself.
I would also let myself know that it is okay to slow down once in a while. Take time to just enjoy the cuddles and little moments within all the big moments. There will be big things to celebrate and little things, and the little things will be just as important.
I would always go back and do it again. There are times I wish I could. But I wish sometimes I had the confidence I have now, to know it’s going to be great. She will be great, I will do great, we will do great. Because what we did was create a treasured life. Every time she smiles, laughs, shares a joke, says I love you, learns something new, and I am in awe of her. I am honored to be her mother. Honored to share life with her and watch her grow and become something wonderful and great.
