Welcoming the Mess

I try not to look down. Flour is everywhere. But I am welcoming the mess, I remind myself. In her attempt to help me, one of her favorite things to do, my toddler has completely missed the mixing bowl we are standing at. She has sent a large cup of ingredients cascading to the floor below. She leans over to inspect and then licks at the flour on the counter as it gently settles around her.

She decides that it doesn’t taste very good. Two tiny hands reach into the bowl and grab fistfuls of butter and sugar. “Mmmmm,” she exclaims, bringing her hands to her mouth. I take a deep breath and hand her another measuring cup, guiding her hand to the bowl this time. “Good job,” she yells as she makes the shot this time. Her face is pure joy, and despite the anxiety rising in my chest, it’s impossible not to catch her contagious smile.

I reflect on my son at this age. I would have never even attempted baking with a toddler. As a first-time parent, there was enough mess and stress to wade through without deliberately creating opportunities for more. This second time around, though, I am trying to remember that a vacuum will clean this mess up easily when we’re done.

This is so not easy for me and my personality. My type A brain wants everything to be in place and be orderly. It longs for efficiency. A one-year-old taste-testing every ingredient before dumping half of it on the floor does not scream efficiency. In fact, my alarm system goes off. My gut reaction is to stop the whole production. I resist the urge to clean the flour up immediately, tell her we’re done, and get her down to play with a toy. Leaving me to my orderly ways.

Over time and parenting experience, I’ve realized there is so much missed when everything is in place all of the time. That it’s actually in things being out of place where my children are most happy. Even though I have to consciously choose to let the mess happen against my better judgment, it’s in the mess that there’s discovery. My toddler loves climbing up into the kitchen helper and being a part of EVERY task that I have deemed “mundane.” One of her favorite things is to take every item out of the grocery bags and stack them haphazardly right in the doorway. My son loves being barefoot or wading through mud and creek water. He is so proud of cutting tiny shards of paper, creating art with glue and tape. Learning has been found in cracks and crevices of our typical day-to-day as I have slowly been better about allowing the mess and the creativity that comes along with it.

My kids teach me something every day, but this is something they’re constantly reminding me of. To take a step back, take a deep breath, and watch through new eyes as they create and fail, and learn, sometimes only possible by welcoming the mess.