When I think of all the times I have tossed and turned in bed at night, replaying events or conversations to the point my sleep is stifled, I try to laugh, but I mainly shake my head. I know I am not alone; many others fall victim to letting their imagination plunge into the abyss of overthinking, but sometimes this behavior extends into sheer, illogical shenanigans, and it’s a shame. It takes just one thing to get all the thoughts stirred up, and oh boy, the overthinking train can get going real fast, right?
The initial tossing and turning begins with something like: “I need to talk with my manager tomorrow about that new procedure…why is that necessary? Don’t we want to make things smoother for clients and not harder?”
But then I also start to randomly think of other things and down the rabbit hole my mind goes…
“When are Preston’s new soccer cleats going to arrive? Amazon said next-day delivery, but it’s been three days; can he still fit in his old cleats? Probably not…better check on that order and maybe buy another pair just in case.” and “Oooohhh, I really need to add some more vegetables into tomorrow’s dinner because I don’t know if Preston is getting enough fiber,” and “Oh, wait, do I need to change my work password soon?? Because I don’t want to get locked out, that’s a mess.” and “I should check on our vacation plans again; did I book the rental car?” and then looping back to the original instigator of my overthinking: That new confusing work procedure.
“Why am I still awake? I really need to go to sleep; tomorrow is going to be a long day.” Then I find myself *thinking some more* about how long a day it’s going to be and what it will look like, including that nagging new work procedure that launched my brain into a spiral of thoughts in the first place. Yeah, let’s chalk this all up to that crazy culprit called overthinking; the thief of peace, robber of rest, and magnet of chaos.
Overthinking is common, but not ideal, and it doesn’t just occur at night. A University of Michigan study found that 57 percent of women fall into the overthinking category, while 43 percent of men are overthinkers. Overthinking can cause individuals to envision scenarios that never happened; it often triggers people to see small issues or worries as real emergencies. This is where the vicious loop of overthinking begins: the mind keeps replaying the same script over and over because something feels uncertain and out of an individual’s control. No solution is truly ever found, so overthinking just creates more nagging, incessant thoughts and increased anxiety. This can be so stressful, and over time, can create detrimental effects to a person’s mental, physical, and emotional health.
The good news is that because overthinking is pretty common, many strategies exist to manage and/or eliminate it…and one of them is not to “just stop worrying,” because that often does not work. Moving your body and maintaining a healthy self-care routine is always recommended, but here are some other go-to tips for calming your mind and putting a lid on the unwanted overflow of overthinking:
1) Set up “worry time” sessions.
Dr. Shade Zahrai, Behavioral Researcher and confidence expert, cites overthinking as your brain’s attempt to “manufacture certainty when there is none.” Dr. Zahrai suggests setting aside 10-15 minutes for a “worry time” session when needed, even if that is daily. She said that giving overthinking an outlet is more powerful than simply trying not to overthink. Her “worry time” approach is where you write down any distracting thoughts you might experience during the day. You intentionally put them down on paper and then schedule time on your calendar for 10-15 minutes to address the list and face the worries head-on; to actually allow yourself to shrink the fear and minimize the emotions attached to the item(s) on your list. You set a timer, and when it goes off, you conclude your session. The big takeaway? “Worry Time” reminds you what you actually have control over, and what is beyond your grasp; you can only control what you can control. The rest is for you to release to the universe.
2) Truly let it go.
Most people can’t stop overthinking and prevent themselves from healing because they keep replaying scenarios in their head; they remain stuck in a vicious loop. Give yourself permission to let it go. Ask yourself whether this issue that is bothering you will matter in one year, two years, three years, or more. If so, then absolutely give it your effort and attention. If not, release it from your radar and energy. Most things that take up space and energy today will be distant memories in the years to come. When your mind is stronger than your emotions, you are stronger. Scott D. Clary, host of the Success Story podcast, said, “The amount of mental energy you spend imagining worst-case scenarios that never happen is staggering. If you tracked it, you’d be furious. All that processing power, wasted on fiction. Redirect it. Build something instead.”
3) Listen to upbeat music.
When you listen to music with good energy, the kind that speaks directly to you, you are more likely to calm your mind and think more rationally. Extra credit if your music gets you singing…or dancing. After you put yourself in a more positive, relaxed state, think rationally about whatever thoughts might lead to overthinking later on, and truly remind yourself that you live most of your life inside your head; make it the best space possible. Assess how you are responding to “fires” in your life, and if you are allowing yourself to get into the weeds with things you should be burying. We only get so much time on this Earth; protect your time and your peace.
4) Cuddle with your pets.
Animal lovers know the undeniable surge of endorphins that can be released when you are with your pets! Take time to capitalize on cuddle time with your furry friends to align your mind and body and restore order amidst any potential chaos your mind is stirring up. Anything you do that calms your mind and allows you to see things more clearly and manage emotions gives you more power and rationality. Pause, observe, and respond with clarity instead of giving an emotional, knee-jerk reaction to anyone or anything. There is something eye-opening about realizing each day is not one more day, rather it is one less. Give your time and energy to things that truly hold significance. Awareness and happiness lead to maintaining control over your emotions…and our pets have a unique knack for making us feel better and bringing out our best side!
5) Rewrite the script; imagine the best-case scenario.
It is a good reminder to all of us to be careful not to make everything so serious; not everything is a matter of life and death. Some issues resolve themselves when you stop overthinking, poking, and prodding. Examine what’s spurring your overthinking and decide what you can do. Maybe you can forgive someone for something that happened in the past, and in that process, you release yourself from a harmful loop of endless thoughts and/or resentment. Maybe you remove something from your routine that drains you more than it invigorates you. Ultimately, one thing you can always do is picture the positive outcomes of any scenario that faces you; rewrite your own script so you are blocking out the negative thoughts that may be lurking and trying to ensnare you.
Overall, the richest people in this crazy life do not always have a ton of money, fancy cars, a vacation house, or a bulging bank account. A calm mind, reduced anxiety, no chaos, a strong circle of family and friends; well, perhaps that is true wealth and, in turn, better health. Peace. Purpose. Presence; now that is something to think about.
