As moms, we’re constantly checking in on everyone else—holding space, managing emotions, and carrying the invisible weight of motherhood. But how often do we pause long enough to check in with ourselves? One practice that has quietly shifted my mental health journey is learning to identify and name what I’m actually feeling. It sounds simple, but it’s been anything but.
It wasn’t until I became a mother that I realized how much of my life I had spent stuffing my emotions down or covering them up with an “I’m fine” or “I’m okay.” Over time, I came to see that hiding what I feel serves no one. And as I’ve helped my own children learn how to navigate and express their emotions, I’ve slowly learned to do the same for myself.
This past year, anxiety and overwhelm became too much, and I found myself back in therapy. As I shared my struggles, my therapist recommended an app called How We Feel—an online wellbeing journal designed to help users find precise words for their emotions, notice patterns, and practice healthy regulation. Even though I thought I could articulate how I felt, once I began consistently tracking my emotions, the patterns were impossible to ignore.
Over time, I noticed that more than 80% of what I logged fell into two categories: high-energy unpleasant emotions and low-energy unpleasant emotions. The two words I used most often?
- Anxious — worried and uneasy about a certain outcome
- Tired — feeling like I need rest
Seeing that reality laid out so clearly was sobering. As a mom, I’m used to pushing through exhaustion and normalizing stress—but realizing that anxiety and tiredness were my most frequent emotional states? That hit hard. It made me sad. But it also opened my eyes. Simply checking in and naming my emotions helped me to recognize when I truly need rest, advocate for myself more honestly, and think more intentionally about what I actually need.
There’s something powerful about naming what we feel. When emotions stay vague, they feel overwhelming and unmanageable. But when we name them, we create space to respond instead of react.
Try pausing once a day and asking yourself: What am I actually feeling right now?
Consider downloading How We Feel and tracking your emotions for a few weeks. See what you learn about yourself.
Name what you feel. Because naming our emotions isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. And sometimes, it’s the very first step toward becoming the version of ourselves we’re longing to be.
