Here I am awake at four am with one of the worst colds I’ve ever had, or at least that’s how it feels right now. I took a COVID test and it was negative, but I may have the flu and will need to go to the doctor if I don’t get better in the next few days. I know, I always bring up the fact that I’m not from the US, but I swear these US illnesses hit harder when you didn’t grow up here. My husband is not sick at all, and it’s not the first time that I’ve gotten really sick, and he doesn’t even sneeze. At least he’s been participating more in household work and parenting.
This post is about the things that cross my mind when I feel miserable and sick. Getting sick as a mother should be illegal. Once you get pregnant, your immune system should become armoured against illnesses until your children are old enough to take care of you when sick. They say that children do need to get sick to build up immunity, but mothers should be exempt. We already got sick when we were young.
Another thing I would like to file a complaint about is why we feel worse at night when we are trying to sleep. And yes, dear reader, I already tried to find answers during my restless nights. I found this helpful article, which explains that the circadian rhythm signals our immune cells to become more active at night to fight illnesses, and the way they do it is by generating inflammation, which worsens symptoms. Another reason is that cortisol, the hormone that regulates stress responses in the body, is higher in the morning. This helps to reduce inflammation and, therefore, cold symptoms. And lastly, lying down to sleep induces mucus to accumulate at the back of the throat, making congestion worse.
With the cold season being in its peak this winter, I stumbled upon a reel by @sheispaigeturner on Instagram where she talks about the double standard where women and moms in particular are expected to keep going when they are sick. It’s part of the societal expectations of mothers, we are expected to do everything with little or no help even while being sick. My husband does a lot around the house and is particularly nice when I’m sick, but I still feel like we sometimes fall into the traditional expected roles of housewife and working father. On top of that, I can’t help but feel guilty for allowing my son too much screen time while being super sick, and afterward, while trying to catch up with the chores that didn’t get done while I had a fever.
Unsurprisingly, we tend to take longer to recover, and sometimes we stay sick for months with the different viruses the rest of the family keeps bringing home. Another reason I decided to write this post is because I feel like I’ve been sick a whole month and I still don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. And the cherry on top is that since I got pregnant the first time, I catch myself not wanting to take medicine or go to the doctor; because there are a lot of cold medicines that are not allowed during pregnancy or while breastfeeding and now that I’m trying to get pregnant again I don’t want to affect my chances either.
Now that spring is here, I hope we can leave the cold season behind us. But keep in mind that next time we are sick, we can give ourselves some grace and try to stop and recover. The mess will always be there.
PS I did have the flu A and ended up going to urgent care to stop the suffering.
