After more than a year of research, months spent finding the right breeder, and weeks of preparation and anticipation, the day finally arrived — we were on our way to pick up the newest member of our family. During the two-and-a-half-hour drive, the excitement kept building. What I didn’t expect was how quickly those feelings would shift in the days that followed. No one warned me about the puppy blues.
The first couple of days at home with our new puppy were a lot of work, but still exciting and fun. As a first-time dog owner, I thought I had prepared myself–I watched all the videos, read the articles, downloaded training apps, and followed the right accounts on social media. But to my surprise, the excitement was quickly replaced by anxiety, overwhelm, and deep regret.
For days, I had a sinking pit in my stomach, and I could hardly eat. Mornings came heavy, each one bringing the familiar edge of a panic attack. There were multiple days when I couldn’t stop crying. At night, I pored over Reddit threads and blog posts, desperate to understand what I was feeling and seeking validation. One night, after a middle-of-the-night potty break, I even devised a plan to return him to the breeder–drafting the message we would send to family and what I’d post on social media.
I was in a bad space. How could I have been so excited to be a dog owner and now feel like I made the worst decision of my life?
After reading countless stories from other new dog owners, I learned that what I was experiencing had a name – the puppy blues. The puppy blues “is a term used to describe a range of emotional responses that include being overwhelmed, anxious, sad, and sometimes regretful about getting your new puppy.” Symptoms can vary from person to person, but common indicators that you are experiencing this thing no one really talks about include physical and emotional fatigue, anxiety and worry, feelings of regret and doubt, irritability and mood swings, sadness or depressive symptoms, and social withdrawal.
I experienced it all — for months on end — wondering if I’d ever feel okay again. Everyone said, “It gets better,” but in the thick of my reality, that felt impossible to believe. Yet, somehow, here I am on the other side of it.
I didn’t follow through with my plan to return our puppy to the breeder. As I write this, my nine-month-old pup is peacefully sleeping at my feet. I can’t pinpoint exactly when it happened, but somewhere over the last seven months, the fog lifted–and having a dog quietly became our new normal.
Looking back on my experience with the puppy blues, what helped me most was being honest about my feelings. Whenever someone asked me about the dog, I didn’t pretend everything was perfect. I talked openly about the overwhelm and anxiety, my dislike for all the dog gear now taking over my home, and the grief over losing my time and independence. Speaking those truths out loud was freeing. And as I shared, I learned that I was not alone. Other dog owners understood exactly what I was going through.
There are still moments when I question the decision to get a dog, but those doubts are slowly fading. I have come to enjoy our daily walks, his silly quirks, the cute ways my kids interact with him, and the new connections we’ve made with friends and neighbors over our shared dog experiences. Most of all, I’m grateful for the memories we are creating as a family.
As the holidays approach, some of you might be thinking about adding a new furry friend to your home. That’s wonderful! I hope you go into it prepared. Know that the puppy blues are real, but also that they do get better. One day, you’ll look down and find your pup sleeping at your feet and realize you made it through.
