This post is going to start with some backstory. If you’ve read anything of mine before, you know that my little family is a family of vegans. We became vegan for a variety of reasons, but the biggest motivator for me has always been because of my love for animals and aligning my values with how I live my life.
We’ve had dogs in my home for as long as I can remember. After I met my husband, we adopted our first dog together and then brought over my Chihuahua from my parents’ house. We became a family of four, two pups and two adults. Fast track to today, and we’ve had two kiddos, adopted a third dog, and sadly had to put down the first pup we ever adopted together, Adama.
A few months after Adama’s passing, I was still heartbroken and antsy. I began looking at photos of puppies in shelters and started sending them to my husband via text, hoping to entice him. It worked. We drove down to the shelter and picked up this shy and timid puppy and named him Druid.
Then the shy and timid puppy became a goliath overnight. We thought he was a lab mix, but it turned out he’s a Weimaraner mix, AKA he has massive separation anxiety and a kill drive. We’ve been gifted four baby birds, a squirrel, and two moles at the time of this writing.
But our reason to rehome isn’t because he’s difficult, even though it would be nice not to have to worry constantly about whether or not the squirrel in our backyard will make it to summer.
The reason we’ve decided to rehome Druid is because of me and our girls. I had hoped that Druid would help me realize that walking every day after dropping off the kids at school/daycare is a great way to start the day. I had hoped that Druid would fill the void that was growing and gnawing inside me as each day passed, but having to provide and take care of another individual in my home just made my anxiety grow.
As I write this there are tears in my eyes. It’s not his fault that I am still broken and trying to figure out how to piece myself back together. It’s not his fault that I can’t handle more responsibility and that I want to run and hide away from the family and pets who need me each day.
I’m sure you’d like to ask me, “Why not rehome all your dogs?” Well, Cookie is now 16, and I’d love for her to stay in one home till her last breath. Atari was severely abused by the family she had before us, and she is an older dog too. They’re both mellow and exist to cuddle and sleep. They’re not a 9-month-old puppy who needs more time to run and play and requires structure.
You can judge me for our decision. You can judge me for not sticking to our promise to give him a home and love him. Trust that we do love him, but we want better for him. We want a home for him where they’ll give him the exercise he needs, the training that will make him a happier dog, and the time and devotion from someone who isn’t having an existential crisis every other week.
Just know that if you’re angry at me, that’s ok. I’m angry at myself as well. Angry, disappointed, and frustrated that I made such a rash decision and pushed our family into doing something that we weren’t ready for, that I wasn’t ready for.
The only positive that I can share is that I’ve found amazing support through Facebook groups and some of our friends to find Druid a lovely home. We’re fortunate enough to not have to drop him off at a shelter. Instead, we’ll continue to have him in our home as we have others work to find us a new place he can call home.
If you’re thinking about rehoming your pet, remember that you’re doing something good for them. You’ve recognized that you’re not doing the best for your pet, and you want better for them. You can work with your local shelter if you need support, and you can also find groups on Facebook that can point you in the right direction. Don’t beat yourself up and batter down to find the right place for your fuzzy friend, and if you need to talk, feel free to reach out to me.