Can You Please Just Not?!: Mantra of the Overwhelmed Toddler Mom


Toddlers can be such sweet little creatures.

They can catch you off guard and fill you with so much love with the sweet simplicity of their small loving gestures: planting kisses on your face unprovoked, working hard in their pretend kitchens to make you a meal that they’ll proudly march over to you and deliver, generously sharing bites of their ice cream or another precious snack with no ulterior motive…

Yes, yes, toddlers are sweet, darling little blessings that make your heart swell and remind you, just by virtue of existing, to look up to the heavens and say “thank you” for the privilege of being their mama.

So now that we got that out of the way and you know that I love and feel blessed to have my kids, I feel comfortable telling you what I really want to say…

Toddlers are also wretched little trolls that can make you question everything about yourself and your life choices.


They can leave you rocking in the corner of a dark pantry, stress eating chips as quietly as you can because you know they’re lurking out there somewhere and they want YOU.

More and more, I find myself asking my toddler,”Can you PLEASE. PUH-LEE-ZUHHH. Just NOT do that!?” Here are some gems from the last couple days:

Can you please not lick mommy’s Himalayan Salt Lamp? STOP. Licking. It.

Can you please not kick while mommy is trying to change your diaper!? PLEASE! You’ve got poop on your heel now!!

Can you please not drink your soapy bath water? Yes, I can still see you bringing that cup to your lips even when you turn your back to me, little Einstein.

Can you please just not shove your Minnie Mouse magnets through the vent slots on the bottom of the fridge? Really?! ALL of them?!

Can you please NOT pull on the cat’s head? He doesn’t like that

Can you please not attempt downward dog while nursing? Not sure how you’re managing to drink your milk and stand on my neck at the same time


I don’t know, maybe I’m uptight. Maybe I’m supposed to be more cool about all of my stuff getting licked, broken, pooped on and turned inside out for the sake of toddler curiosity.

Hats off to the mamas who have more than one toddler at once, or the mamas who have wild boys that scale the walls like Spiderman.  

I know I’ve gotten pretty lucky as far as toddlerhood goes so far.

::knocks on all the wood that ever existed, ever.::

I’ve seen AFV… and I have nephews. ?

I know my girls have been somewhat mild.

Some days I can roll with it all and laugh it off. 

But some other days, especially lately, I find myself desperately throwing out the old familiar plea …

Can you PLEASE just not?!