Happy International Women’s Month, which is one of my favorite months of the year. Any opportunity to celebrate women awakens something in my spirit. Women’s History Month has always been special because I was raised by extraordinarily strong women, and for the past decade, I have had the privilege of raising an amazing daughter. This is an incredibly significant time for women because, for every wonderful thing we are hit with, we are met with two dreadful things. However, in every part of my life, women are the pillars that hold up families and communities together, and what I continue to emphasize to my daughter is that womanhood is community. These are the people who hold us up, comfort us, and cheer for us when things go well. They are your bridesmaids at weddings, and they throw you sick baby showers, and if you are incredibly lucky, you will make memories that will last a lifetime. So, imagine my surprise when my 10-year-old daughter came home and told me that the friends she has at school (some since preschool) had stopped calling her, talking to her at recess, and no longer wanted her to be part of their friend group. When she told me this, I felt I had lost credibility because her faith in girl friendships had been shaken.
Every part of me went back to the times I felt left out, and it made me empathetic toward my daughter but angry with the girls who made her feel that way. I always knew that at some point she would encounter ” mean girls,” but this felt early for me. Over the span of a month, she cried often, spoke without isolating fourth grade could be, and the stress of it took a toll on her skin. It got to a point where I thought that we would have to change schools. Then one day, Weslie decided that she would change friend groups, and it was over. Proclaiming that she is only in fourth grade, and it should not be this hard to be friends. Suddenly, the teacher became the student, and my daughter taught me, in March 2026, that no matter how much something may hurt, it is better to go where you are accepted rather than tolerated. She accepted at 10 what most women do not accept their whole lives: you are not difficult, and it is okay to exit situations that make you uncomfortable or unhappy.
Weslie survived her very first mean-girl confrontation beautifully, but I realize these situations do not end in the fourth grade. I journaled about it, and this is what I hope both you and your daughters know about confronting friendship challenges in the future.
Do not rush to “fix it”—teach her to face it
It is natural to want to step in, but growth happens when girls learn to navigate conflict on their own.
Normalize that friendship struggles are part of growing up
Let her know: Not all friendships last; conflict does not mean failure; and even adults deal with difficult relationships.
Teach her how to use her voice early
Practice simple phrases she can say:
- “I didn’t like that.”
- “That hurt my feelings.”
- “I don’t want to be treated that way.”
Confidence in communication is one of the most powerful lifelong skills.
Help her define what a good friend looks like
Talk about qualities like:
- Kindness
- Consistency
- Respect
Then gently ask: “Do you feel that from them?”
This helps her evaluate friendships instead of chasing approval.
Remind her she does not have to stay where she’s not valued
One of the hardest lessons:
- Walking away is not losing—it is choosing yourself.
- This is a foundation for healthy relationships later in life.
