The end of 2025 felt heavy. Just too heavy. The holidays came and went but unless you have tunnel vision, the world seemed to be a lot. But the end of 2025 also brought about so many changes. The most significant thing is that my daughter turned ten! (No worries. I cried about it for an entire month leading up to it.) But the emotions were not sad tears; but instead tears of respect, laughter and more importantly, credit to myself for being responsible for another person for an entire decade. What I hope she knows is that she will be an incredible human.
I have always said that Weslie came into the world and peacefully she remains (mostly). Her cry was subtle, and she slept through the night early. Even when she went through her toddler phase, she threw a total of three tantrums. But I will admit that she had her share of eye rolls and sass, which has seemed to increase in these past couple of months. I am envious of her confidence because at 10, I was fearfully confident. I was always afraid to pursue things because I was caught between “what will my parents think” and “Black people don’t do that.” Weslie, however, quiets that noise. At two years old she stated that when she turned ten, she wanted to go to New York. (A trip we do have planned for this summer!) She loves to watch Saturday Night Live with me and has aspirations of moving to Chicago, being a nurse in a dermatology office and doing improv on weekends. I am enjoying raising her, but I can smell the change in the air.
My daughter is focused, and she tries hard and she is aware. Weslie is empathetic to people’s needs and aims to be fair. As her mom, I see a lot of myself in her. I am glad that in a world that demands perfection, she is not afraid to wear that little pimple sticker on her face and let her hair a wild. Representation matters when raising girls and I feel fortunate that she has been surrounded by people who love her as much as we do.
I remember this age with feelings of confusion. So as she continues to grow, I want my daughter to remain self-assured. So before Weslie fully enters her teenage years, these are the things I hope she knows:
Your Confidence Does Not Have to Be Loud
I learned this late in life and spent a lot of time over-talking and convincing people to see things my way. Your job is not to convince anyone that your idea is better. The important part is having the confidence to engage with the people you meet on a daily basis.
Mean Girls Never Win
Inclusivity is important for girls and women. As you get older, friendships become more complicated but they are still especially important. Women supporting women is not just a mantra on a t-shirt. It is the best way to live life.
Silence is Complicity
I mean this especially in issues that affect you and the people you love. Speak up about issues that matter, or things that set your soul on fire. Nothing was ever accomplished by women being silent.
Kindness is always the answer
Being kind will get you further than being unkind ever will. Learn to control your emotions so that your judgment is not clouded. Be kind to people who serve your food, people who do services for you, and people you don’t even know. And don’t forget to be kind to yourself, too!
It has been a whirlwind of emotions as Weslie has entered the age of ten, and although I cannot believe it, I can appreciate this next phase of her life and mine.
