If navigating parenthood came with a manual, then navigating life as a single mom comes with a leaflet; one that’s missing pages, smudged with tears, and written in tiny, barely readable print.
Twenty years ago, I couldn’t have envisioned this version of my life, motherhood on my own terms as a single mom. Yet here I am, rocking this thing until the wheels fall off. My journey into single parenthood began when my son was just six months old. Choosing peace and happiness over what culture might call “traditional” was one of the hardest yet most freeing decisions I’ve ever made.
There were nights when loneliness wrapped around me like a heavy blanket. It felt like endless nursing, diapers, and moments of quiet when I wished I had someone to share the load. I’d scroll through Instagram, admiring the smiling couples raising their babies together, trading turns for rest, and capturing those perfect little family moments of matching pajamas. I used to envy that partnership. As a single mom, I realized something powerful: my son’s happiness would always be rooted in mine. A peaceful, joyful mom creates a peaceful, joyful home.
In that quiet realization, I found strength. I discovered that happiness wasn’t found in the structure of a traditional family but in the freedom to build our own version of joy, one filled with laughter, curiosity, and love.
Before motherhood, I was a traveler, a missionary, a lover of new experiences and good books. Somewhere along the way, I thought those parts of me had to end once “Mom” became my identity, even as a single mom. Thankfully, I had a village that reminded me that I didn’t have to give up who I was. I could bring my son along for the journey and show him that life doesn’t stop; it simply changes rhythm.
As a full-time college professor, the balancing act of career and motherhood felt impossible at first. I wanted to be fully present for both, but reality taught me that I couldn’t pour from an empty cup. After what felt like a million daycare tours, I finally found one that felt like a true academic partner, a place that supported my son’s development and gave me the space to focus on my own. With that newfound balance, I rediscovered my professional spark. I pursued a promotion, got it, and felt like I could finally breathe again as a single mom.
I’ve learned that asking for help is not a weakness; it’s wisdom. That’s what I want other single moms to know: seeking help doesn’t make you less of a mother. It makes you human.
Socially, I surrounded myself with women who inspired me. Single moms, married moms, bonus moms, working moms, stay-at-home moms, all showing me that motherhood doesn’t have to mean self-sacrifice. I started traveling again, with my little one in tow. Watching his tiny hands grip a suitcase handle, or his eyes light up at an airplane window, has been the sweetest reminder that this is our story, and it’s ours to write.
To every single mom starting this journey: you are not less than. You are rewriting the narrative, one diaper change, one deep breath, one brave choice at a time. You are enough, more than enough. You are not alone, even when it feels like you are. You are doing something powerful and sacred.
Here are a few things that have helped me when the days feel heavy
Build your village. It might not look like the traditional family unit, but your community can be your saving grace. Seek out local mom groups, churches, or Indy-based organizations that support single parents. There’s power in connection.
Ask for help without guilt. You are not meant to do it all. Whether it’s accepting help with childcare, meals, or emotional support, remember that allowing others to help is a gift to both you and your child.
Protect your peace. There will be voices and opinions everywhere, learn to tune into your own. Your intuition as a mom is stronger than you realize, especially as a single mom.
Keep a piece of you alive. Read that book, plan that trip, take that fitness class. The best version of “Mom” is still you.
Celebrate the small wins. Every bedtime story, every morning drop-off, every smile from your child is proof that you are doing enough.
You are writing your own manual as you go, one page at a time. And while it may not come with clear directions, it’s filled with heart, courage, and the kind of love that changes everything.
You’ve got this, Momma.
