Hi, it’s me. Your mom. I’ve been wanting to write this down for some time now but couldn’t quite find the words…until now.
You see, only a short eight months ago, you entered the world with your big, beautiful blue eyes and a dark head full of hair. You definitely had your daddy’s complexion, but I knew the moment I held you in my arms that very first time, you were exactly what I needed, but didn’t even know it…yet.
There was a time, not too long before your brother was born that your daddy and I weren’t totally sure we were going to be able to have our own children. We tried three different times, but they each ended in heartbreak and many, many tears. We were frustrated, angry, and sad but we were not ready to give up. Then, by some sort of miracle, your brother came along, all on his own. From the time I was a young girl, I always figured that I was meant to be a boy mom. Growing up as a tomboy and having no clue about “girly things,” I assumed God would recognize that, and if I were lucky enough to have children of my own, I would end up with all boys. And if that was what happened, I would be totally ok with it.
But on March 19th, 2018, your daddy and I went into our ultrasound appointment in Dr. Neff’s office, with Cindy, our most favorite ultrasound technician ever, and she told us the news that we had been waiting for: You were a GIRL! Now, like I said earlier, I always thought I would end up being a mom of boys. However, when she told us that fate had other plans for us, I’ll be honest…I was thrilled and terrified, all at the same time. We already had your brother so would we even know what to do with a girl? What if I am a terrible “girl mom” because I am not “girly-girly”? I can barely braid anything, pink is my least favorite color and I barely ever wear makeup. Then I realized that none of those things mattered at all. That’s what society wants us to believe about how girls “should” be, but the reality was, you would come out and become whoever you wanted to be and regardless, I would still be YOUR mom.
I broke the mold when I was younger, so what made me think you wouldn’t end up exactly like me? Or, on the other hand, maybe you will become the most pink-loving, biggest hair bow wearing ballerina or cheerleader because those are things I know NOTHING about. I finally realized that it absolutely would not matter because I knew for sure I would love you with every single inch of me.
Here is what I promise to you, my dear sweet little girl: I promise to give you the opportunity to be who you want to be. I will support you in everything you do, even if it is not easy or challenges my thinking. I will encourage you, be your biggest cheerleader and push you to be the best version of yourself. I am going to do my very best to guide you in the right directions but also give you a chance to learn some lessons along the way. Don’t ever sell yourself short or let someone anyone tell you that you can’t do something. Dream big, reach for the stars and no matter what you do, be true to yourself. All I ask of you is that in this great big world where things can get ugly and cruel sometimes, just be kind to others. Accept people’s differences and celebrate the uniqueness of those around you.
One day, when you’re a little bit older, you will read this letter and I look forward to hearing what you have to say about all of this. But for now, take it one day at a time little one and know that mama loves you more than you’ll ever know.