You see all the videos and memes on social media that display PTO groups like high school for adults. There’s the potential for cliquey and judgemental parents or caregivers to hand out orders and talk down to others while trying to put on ‘the event of the season.’
*Note: I know I’m severely generalizing, but as a person who lives with an abundance of anxiety, I research a ton. Many blogs, memes, videos, and status updates from others showed that sometimes PTO groups could be a drama-filled, gossip-focused, busywork-centered time commitment that doesn’t provide any real support to those they’re supposed to serve (teachers and students).
After my daughters started school, I told myself I would help in any way I could, whether it be volunteering for events or giving funds, but I would never sign up for a leadership role. I didn’t want to bring more strife into my life by potentially being surrounded by adult versions of stereotypical ‘mean girls’ (and boys).
At the last event of the 2024 school year, I learned that the entire PTO leadership team was stepping down, meaning that no one would be there to run the events for the teachers or students. Having seen how hard the teachers worked and everything that would not occur for the students, I threw my name in the hat.
I’m so incredibly glad I did. With the help of another amazing parent, she networked to help two more people sign up to join us. We met at one of their houses, where our collective nine children were able to run amok while we sat and talked about what we wanted to accomplish for the year.
Halfway through that gathering, I realized that I had just met a phenomenal group of parents, and I was so excited to start working with them. We came from different backgrounds and upbringings, and all had varying strengths. I don’t know how I lucked into this phenomenal group, but I’m so glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have made the friendships that I have today.
So, what makes us different from other PTO groups, you might ask? Am I worried that I’m actually one of those mean girls who exclude others and look down on those who aren’t cool enough to run events?
Absolutely not. I know we’re different because the biggest thing we stressed from our first meeting was that we would welcome anyone to join us at whatever level they could meet us. By my nature, I’m not good with in-person interaction, but give me the ability to text or email you? Shoot, you’ll know my life’s story in minutes. Others in our group are far more comfortable talking and planning in person. We recognize that there are other parents or caregivers who could be the same way. We also realize that there are parents or caregivers who may only be able to contribute electronically (like helping us send out emails, coordinating this via text, or making phone calls), and there are others who simply do not have the ability to take on more mentally or physically so they’re more comfortable just sending a check our way. That is all ok.
We’re made up of a community of individuals who are just trying to do their best for their children and teachers. Rather than try to live to unattainable expectations, we lay things out as a matter of fact. If we don’t raise enough money, we won’t be able to do X, Y, Z, or if we don’t get enough volunteers, we’ll have to cut activities from our gatherings. This is conveyed to others without guilt or pressure. I’d like to think that our community has seen this sensibility from us, and we’ve managed to have an amazing first half of the school year.
I can’t wait to see where the rest of this year takes us, what we can accomplish for our school and for each other.
I also can’t believe that these amazing, wonderful, and beautiful inside and out folks were WITHIN my reach. Our kids go to the same school, and we’ve said hello before and invited one another to parties, but if we hadn’t been given this common goal, I don’t think we could have grown our amazing friendships as quickly as we have. Now, I have a village that I would do anything for, and it feels so lovely to know that others out there are happy to hear from me. Just like I’m glad to hear from them.
