For the last however many years, I’ve tried to play along to make New Year’s Resolutions, to be able to share it all over social media to hold myself accountable and really put out there that I am doing something to better myself for next year.
“I’ll lose weight in 2017.”
“I’ll be more financially stable in 2018.”
“NOW I’ll be more financially stable in 2019!”
I’ve found that through the years, resolutions just aren’t for me. It feels like a scary giant goal I must accomplish by the end of next year or else. Throughout the last few years, I’ve seen people have words to live by each year like “health,” or “success,” or “gratitude.” Using one single word gives me the flexibility to do what I want with it and use how I see fit. A little less daunting, personally. As I was begrudgingly trying to come up with something for 2020 that fit my new lifestyle (living with my boyfriend and his three children), nothing really stuck out to me, except one word, which will be my 2020 motto: me.
One of my most significant weaknesses is that I’m a people pleaser and because of that, I worked so hard all of 2019 to make everyone happy: my parents, my boyfriend, my best friends, my boyfriends’ kids, the kids’ mom and stepdad, my dog, etc. Let me tell you about that – IT’S EXHAUSTING. As I reminisce on 2019, I’m just that – exhausted. It was a great year, truly. But it was a trying year, as well. And in the midst of me trying to appease all of those people, notice I left someone essential off of that list – me. I wasn’t making myself happy.
I think through the chaos of moving in with my boyfriend and his children, moving out of the city I was born and raised in, and just a lot of other significant life changes, I lost sight of who I was and I refuse to continue on that path in 2020. I’m going to be more intentional of doing things because I want to, not the kids, not my boyfriend, not anyone else, but because I myself decided I wanted to do it. Or didn’t want to do it. I know there are things we do for our children and spouses because we just honestly have, but something I learned in 2019 is that a “have to” is different than a “want to.”
Stop trying to please everyone because you will never be able to. It’s not worth the added stress you put on yourself by doing so. Don’t forget about your own hobbies and interests, and have your family support you in those as you do theirs. If taking a bath every Friday night while catching up on “This Is Us” is important to you, DO THAT. Communicate with your partner that doing that act means something to you, and their support in that would be helpful. If you are not in a good place, no one around you will be in a good place. Make sure you’re putting yourself at the top of the list this year. I’m looking forward to doing so and seeing what changes come out of it in all aspects of my life. Cheers to a 2020 full of YOU!