Today, we put away the baby gate. Let me clarify, “we” did not put away the baby gate. My husband put away the baby gate. I came home from a work trip, and it was gone. As the bottles, the baby clothes, and baby toys are all tucked away in bins in the basement, I realized the baby gate is the only daily physical reminder I have of that stage of life. It’s a simple act, the removal of a few screws, but it feels monumental. The baby gate has stood as a guardian at the bottom of our stairs, a safety barrier for our little ones. Taking it down symbolizes a significant shift in our lives: our children are no longer babies.
As I reflect on this moment, I experience a swirl of emotions. I’m proud to see my children grow. They no longer need the physical barrier to keep them safe because they’ve learned how to navigate the stairs, and soon, they will expand that to the world around them. With this pride comes a pang of nostalgia and a touch of sadness.
The journey to this point was not easy. Facing an infertility diagnosis was one of the hardest challenges I’ve ever encountered. The uncertainty, appointments, and emotional roller coaster were all-consuming. When we were blessed with our son, I had few fears and so much joy. Then, to conceive naturally twice, with one pregnancy ending in miscarriage and the other bringing us our daughter, felt like a miracle. Each of my children is a testament to hope, resilience, and the incredible gift of life. Now, as I stand in this new phase of motherhood, I find myself at a crossroads. My heart is so full of gratitude for my two healthy children, but there’s also a quiet question lingering in the background: Do I long for another? The thought of expanding our family brings a mix of excitement and fear. The memories of sleepless nights, physical exhaustion, and the emotional toll are still vivid. Yet, I also know that those early, challenging days eventually give way to the delight of watching a newborn grow into a witty, intelligent, and creative toddler. Deciding whether to have a third child is not straightforward. Even if we decide we want another baby, at what cost would this come? At this stage in life, with an already full plate, would another child be too much? How far am I willing to pursue something I’m not 100% sure about? How long do I delay before making this decision?
As we navigate this transition, I remind myself to cherish the present. Our children are growing and changing every day, and these moments are creating core memories. We’re entering a new phase that’s just as exciting and rewarding as the last. Ultimately, the decision about expanding our family will come in its own time. I’m focusing on embracing the here and now, celebrating the incredible journey that brought us to this point, and looking forward to the future with an open heart. Whether or not we choose to have another child, I am deeply grateful for our two beautiful children and the countless moments of love and joy they bring into our lives.
Putting away the baby gate is a reminder of the passage of time, but it’s also a celebration of growth, both theirs and ours. It’s a symbol of moving forward, of new beginnings, and the ever-evolving nature of parenthood. As we step into this next chapter, I hold onto the memories of the past while eagerly anticipating the adventures that lie ahead.