One thing I was very concerned about before having my first baby was who their pediatrician would be. As someone who had the same amazing doctor from birth through young adulthood, I did not take the decision lightly or willy-nilly choose a doctor. I did lots of research, spoke with many moms, and “interviewed” my favorites. When I finally settled on one that I thought would be in our lives for the long haul, I was happy with my decision, for a time.
After my baby was unnecessarily pumped full of medicine, nurses recommended questionable disciplinary tactics (for a six-month-old, mind you), and the pediatrician denied us a referral that he desperately needed, I was again on the hunt. Luckily, I found a local doctor who came highly recommended. She was respectful and thorough. I never felt like a burden while asking questions. As a self-described “crunchy” mom, she made me feel at ease no matter the reason for the appointment.
Over nearly eight years, all four of my children became patients of this pediatrician. While no relationship is perfect, the one we formed with our doctor was pretty great as our family grew. I never imagined leaving the practice.
Until I had to.
It started with the pediatrician missing some basic vital signs that indicated my son had pneumonia. Luckily, we resolved it after another appointment, and I just brushed it off, knowing everyone makes mistakes. Then came the dagger. My one-year-old daughter was also getting over pneumonia when we went in for a well check. She listened to her lungs and expressed that they still didn’t sound great, and she also had an ear infection. She didn’t take her temperature or test her oxygen levels, however. The doctor said she would still recommend giving my daughter the three vaccines she was due for, and it would not affect her negatively, despite the issues with her lungs and ears. My momma instincts raised internal red flags, but I trusted our pediatrician and went through with the shots.
Within two hours, my daughter was continuously vomiting, lethargic, spiked a fever, and our at-home oximeter was reading her oxygen levels between 85% and 90%. I immediately called the pediatrician, who said it sounded like a normal vaccine reaction and that our oximeter was probably incorrect.
That was the final red flag. I took my daughter into the ER, where every medical professional was shocked at the negligence of our doctor. My daughter’s immune system was basically in shock due to her illnesses and the shots being administered. It took hours before her heart rate, oxygen, and other symptoms came back to normal ranges. And it would be days and days before she was her normal self again. Even more upsetting, the pediatrician never did any kind of follow-up.
While I know I will continue to be a proponent for vaccines for all of my kids, I also know that those well visits will trigger anxiety and PTSD now. And I’ve now broken up with our long-time pediatrician.
My heart breaks that I didn’t trust my mom gut in that moment to protect my daughter. It breaks my heart that someone whom I put so much trust in can no longer be trusted. It breaks my heart that a years-long relationship is now null and void. But I will always advocate for what’s best for my children.
Now, I didn’t go full-blown momma bear and storm into the pediatrician’s office, spewing rage and inappropriate words (even though I really, really wanted to). Instead, I simply called the front office and politely requested my kids’ medical records. That was that. And now I’m back to square one, for the third time.
All of this to say that if something doesn’t feel right, don’t go with the flow just because it’s what a professional is telling you. You have the right to ask questions and push back. Children and caregivers deserve to feel safe in the hands of their doctor. It will take time to build another relationship with one, and for my momma senses not to tingle with “worst case scenario” immediately. But it’s my hope that the pediatrician we entrust our kiddos to will be the right fit for our family. I hope that I never again have to go through the heartache of breaking up with our pediatrician.
