The sound of silence. I crave it. I need it. I miss it. There is growth and purity in silence. As a busy mom, teacher, wife, and personal growth seeker, silence has gone to the level of extinction. The norm is noisy, and I’m craving silence. We create time to provide our children with naps and quiet time. What happened to the beauty of mama naps and quiet time? We deserve them without bearing the guilt of being still…
I’m a master of keeping everyone else balanced, while my own needs are consistently avoided. I know I’m not alone. Mama’s hearts are naturally wired to be plugged into the hearts of those we love. We forget to love us. Here are some truths that provide the space for calm and quiet in my soul.
Rise and shine…waking up early…
I crave the beep, beep, beep of my phone alarm. My time, all mine. Instead of doing all the things when my feet hit the floor, I make my special cup of coffee and head down to my little safe haven-the basement. Taking time for you is not a luxury, it is essential. Mamas, we must believe in self-care in order to take care of those we love and adore. We have to stay healthy…mind, body, and soul. Not just one, all are equally important. Listen to your body. Some days I lift heavy weights. Some days I pray. Some days I meditate. Some days I read my Bible. Some days I literally lay on a yoga mat, light a candle and let my mind wander.
Mamas, this is the only mind/body we have. Take care of it and love it..all of it. What a gift to rise each morning and refuel before the world wakes and needs us. Listen to your whole being, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Carve out special time to love on you.
Be okay being alone…
Alone time…what’s that? I exhaust myself being present and forget about me. From home to work, I am surrounded by people. Answering questions, problem-solving, listening, supporting…you get the idea. Being alone is not my normal. Then the guilt creeps in because that’s what we do. Being still in my mind has been a sign of laziness. Strength happens when I’m “doing” and in the process, my fuel tank is running low. I see the warning light, yet I keep going. So much to do, people to text, paperwork, social media, etc…you get the idea. Eventually, the tank is empty.
Mamas, remember the days when you looked over at someone eating alone and felt overwhelming sadness? You couldn’t comprehend eating alone and wanted to rescue them from that isolation? Fast forward to today, and let me sit in peace and savor the quiet. Don’t feel sorry for me. I savor this time to think, reflect, and soak in what’s heavy on my heart. Not having to talk, just being is a beautiful thing. Solitude reveals parts of you to yourself that you didn’t know existed. It reveals the bare and basic you. Solitude forces you to look at yourself for who you really are. Learning happens when we are still and quiet. We start to unpack our luggage. The heavy ones. The bags we avoid because it’s just too overwhelming. It can be downright painful. When we reveal what’s inside our bags, even the hidden pockets, we grow. I’ve been unpacking a lot lately, and it’s messy, in fact many times very ugly. Why? Mamas, we all have burdens and carry heavy things. Seek growth in you. You have needs…we all do.
Lay still and breathe…
If you know me, you know this was initially torture! One day, my therapist asked me to take a big, deep breath. It’s like she knew I was coming to her as a stressed mama that needed to learn to calm. Therapists are tricky like that. She wanted me to demonstrate “belly breathing.” No problem! Through mindfulness training at school, “belly breathing” is a common practice in classrooms. Well friends, knowing and doing are two different things. My first attempt at a deep breath could only be described as a quick gasp. I’m the perfect therapy patient. Eager to learn and a lot of work to do! Who knew our entire therapy session would focus on learning to breathe- very, very deeply. We sat face to face as she gave me tips on how to breathe. Is it possible to define a moment as incredibly awkward, yet desperately needed? This was it. A therapist all up in my personal space literally teaching me to do what we are born to do…breathe. My life consisted of shallow breaths before I learned how to belly really breathe. I practice my breathing when I’m still and quiet, rather than waiting until I’m in a high-stress moment/situation. No more guilt when I want to rest. Being still is not a sign of laziness. Ultimately, I become rejuvenated. I’m more present, and my mind can focus on being just that…fully engaged. Mamas, check your breath, and practice deep breathing. There is power in your breath.
Mamas, try practicing pure silence. Be patient with the process, and in time, you may just embrace the craving within you.
