“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” ― Osho

Matrescence: The transition into motherhood. The process of becoming a mother. For me, as I transitioned into a mother, I felt a focus toward not only what would make things better for my baby but also for myself. I put up with less, spoke my mind more, and felt greater clarity during pregnancy. I was becoming more true to myself through matrescence.

After my son was born, I was a huge blast of emotions. Every minute of every day was exhausting or exhilarating, a roller coaster of emotions. But, at the end of the day, I didn’t want it any other way. My focus was on that little squishy baby with his dark hair and blue eyes.

After a standard (yet far too short) maternity leave, I was back at work. A hard deadline for me to focus more on myself again. To again have hobbies (or, at least, some free time with both of my hands), intellectual stimulation, and relationships with other adults. It was a transition again, still a mother, but this time even truer to myself.

Baby number two came into the picture nearly four years later, and matrescence came back (or, perhaps, grew deeper?) in another wave. I have less patience for wasted time, more focus on my family, and also feel more chaotic. It was during this second motherly transition that my previous internal systems that supported my somewhat organized life and thoughts started to crumble. The pressure of being a mother of two, plus full-time work out of the home, and trying to find balance for myself, unveiled an even truer version of myself that I didn’t even know. It was at this point that I was diagnosed with ADHD. Whether it was an actual chemical shift in my body, less time to focus and more to be distracted by, or a combination of the two, there was definitely an apparent shift in my mind and mental state.

Matrescence is more than just a mental change, however. And this was clear to me too – I got sweaty and stinky! This was not just a postpartum state. Six years after baby #2 was born, I am still this way. Like a second adolescence, matrescence was a huge change in my body. Ask any mother (even those who did not physically give birth to the child), and explaining the term “matrescence” will prompt them to reflect on their own transition and changes after they, too, became a mom.

This transition into motherhood is often underrecognized and underappreciated, often downgraded to “mom brain.” Mom brain is certainly real, but as we look into the evidence and science, it is so much more than just a foggy discombobulation in our brains, and we deserve a better, more appreciative explanation for the changes we feel in our minds and our bodies. Peanut (a social networking app for moms) and Tommee Tippee (the child care brand) started partnering together this year to try to get the term added to the dictionary, and I say that is a great idea (sign the petition)! The more aware we are all of this term and its definition, the more we can be reminded that this is a normal and real experience, and start to embrace our new reality rather than feel like something is wrong with us.

Matrescence might not be easy, but it is also a really beautiful and powerful transformation. I don’t believe that we are meant to return to who we were before. This is who we are meant to be now. Let’s embrace it and love our new minds, bodies, and perspectives!