I’m tired.
I have many tasks to accomplish daily as well as personal goals to meet, but I’m tired.
I have four young kids, a husband, a puppy, and fluctuating hormones, and I’m tired.
I’m also tired of seeing social media bombard me with moms preaching that my life could be improved exponentially if I would only wake up at 5 am before my kids. “Spend a morning with me! I set my alarm for 5 am before I hear the pitter-patter of little feet. I begin with an organic and locally harvested super protein smoothie. Then I spend a few minutes reading this new-age self-help book, where I plan to implement all the strategies. Next, I participate in an hour-long workout that burns 1000 calories, followed by a long, luxurious shower and a perfectly crafted coffee beverage. While I enjoy the peace and quiet, I concoct a well-rounded breakfast for my cherubs where the smell of it all gently arouses them to wake and join me for the rest of our chaos-free morning!”
Okay, I may have exaggerated… only a little. But no matter… I’m not waking up at 5 am.
Do you know how my mornings usually go? Usually, I’m awoken from an already restless, sweaty sleep (thanks, perimenopause) in the wee hours of the morning to the sound of my youngest crying because she wants to sleep so all up in my business that she slobbers on my face. (This is after I went to sleep far too late because I just needed a few more minutes to finish a comfort show and not be needed by a tiny human.) I follow that with intermittent sleep until the next sound I hear in the darkness is my three boys arguing at megaphone volume about what show to watch or who spilled the cereal. As I apathetically roll out of bed, the shrieking is turned on me for one reason or another. This forces my lack-of-sleep headache to come front and center. We throw together an easy breakfast to avoid complaints. This usually means four different breakfasts. Then I slowly sip my Costco bean coffee (not knocking it… just a fact in stark contrast to the influencer coffee), a little too slowly, where I need to reheat it approximately 14 times. Then all the usual things: school drop off while sometimes coasting on fumes before barely reaching the gas station, laundry, dishes, crumb sweeping, diaper changing, snacks, snacks, and more snacks.
Ain’t no way I’m living the same life as Influencer Mom. I’m not waking up at 5 am and turning on the louder-than-life blender. My body doesn’t function properly to perform any number of squats before caffeine or naptime. Shower every morning? Not so much. That doesn’t happen until my husband gets home from work and I can quickly rid myself of the day’s grime and my ever-present Sasquatch legs. I’m lucky if I get a few pages of a book I’ve been reading for far too long, or if I get in any physical movement other than chasing the puppy who is trying to consume all the landscaping rocks.
Some mornings are obviously better than others. There are days when I go to bed at 11 pm instead of after midnight and my littlest love sleeps through the night. There are times when I feel motivated enough to cook up sourdough pancakes with a side of local bacon and fresh juice. Some mornings the kids are somehow all out of the house and I can go to the gym or sit in the quiet to catch up on my reading.
But those days are few and far between. And I’m okay with that. It’s true that the seasons of life ebb and flow. My season now is one where much of my day is not my own. My days are filled more with helping small children navigate the world than with the latest self-help or self-care craze. I’ve had to learn how to implement daily practices to fit into this season that hinder the mid-life burnout. One of those daily practices is definitely not waking up at 5 am. I yearn for every second of sleep I can before the chaos of the day begins.
If you’re tired and in a similar season of life, just know that it’s okay to not wake up at 5 am (purposefully). It’s okay to hit the snooze a time or two. It’s okay if every personal goal isn’t being met on the exact timeline you set for it. You don’t always have to be influenced by the influencers. You do you and take one morning, one season at a time.
