Can I just vent with you all for a second? My life has not been going as planned recently…
Just before the holidays, the new CEO of my nonprofit let me know my position would no longer exist in 2020, and I’d be without a job in two weeks. I learned this on the day we had cut the biggest check I’ve ever written to our general contractors as they started a mega renovation on our house. Due to said renovation, we just completed month one of four (!!!) of moving in and living with my in-laws. I’m also five months pregnant, aka hormonal AF. We recently had a very scary 10 days as I anxiously awaited my OB to call me back about my Harmony test results after finding a choroid plexus cyst on my baby boy’s brain at our anatomy scan (very, very thankful that everything came back clear and low risk!).
SIGH… the list goes on and on. And you know what? That’s ok. I’m allowing myself to feel down. I’m giving myself a grace period where I don’t have to try and act like I have my sh*t together. Why? Because that’s the most authentic way I can process my current feelings. Every new year, I remind myself that the most important thing I can do is be authentic. This means to honor every single feeling I’m having (the good, the bad, and the ugly!) and to be confident in who I am as a person. Not who I think other people see me as or who I think I SHOULD be, but who I truly am. Yes, it’s really hard at times, but it’s also liberating. So, to be completely transparent, I’m feeling down. I’m feeling stressed. I’m feeling overwhelmed.
And for even more authenticity, here’s how I’ve been helping myself get out of my funk:
- Therapy! I’m so glad therapy is becoming less “taboo,” and people are talking about it more. I’d be willing to bet that you have more friends than you know that see a therapist. There’s nothing wrong with having a professional help you make sense of your internal chaos.
- Admit when you need help! My husband is a great partner and loves spending time as a family, but he also has a job that can require long hours and travel. If I’m on one more toddler tantrum away from losing my cool, I’ll send him the SOS text to come home ASAP. And when he can, he does! But I’m setting myself up for disappointment if I don’t even at least ask.
- Indulge! Usually, this would include a glass (read: glasses…) of red wine or a cocktail, but since I’m preggers, my indulgences have changed to ice cream. And sour patch kids. And shrimp cocktail. And French fries. And queso… Hey, I’m pregnant. And remember, this is a judgment-free zone.
- Relax! While this might seem counterintuitive, nothing helps me relax like watching the shrill chaos that unfolds on the Real Housewives (I don’t discriminate, I love all cities…) And as I mentioned before, authenticity calls for no judgment. I can let my reality tv freak flag fly high and proud. Because that’s what works for me.
If you too are having an off day (or week, or month…) know that you’re not alone. Do yourself a favor and acknowledge that you’re struggling. Then, do whatever YOU need to do to feel better. Right now, for me, that includes turning off my laptop, heating up some queso, and watching the latest RHONJ in bed. Byeeeee!