If you were able to read my October blog, you would know that my sister has cancer. I wanted to tell you, though, that we are ok. We are okay because we have Twilight.
Yes, Twilight. As in Stephanie Meyer’s 2005 book, later made into, at first cringey and now cult classic, movies. The vampires that sparkle in the sun. The love story between a boy who has been seventeen “for a while” (translation: 105 years) waiting for the perfect person to walk, and by walk I mean stumble, into his life. Enter Bella, the slightly awkward, very dead-eyed, dark-haired beauty. So much to unpack just in this incredibly shortened micro summary. But honestly, can’t recommend the series enough. LOVE it.
My sister is almost halfway through her chemotherapy. We are half of the way through the Twilight movie collection, excuse me, saga. Somehow, these things are correlated.
Life is different for us now. There is so much uncertainty. There are so many worries and limitations. There are concerning white blood counts and migraines that manifest as strokes that result in ER visits. Other things: having to stay home while her children have a joint birthday party. Trying to hide away from cold and flu season as we enter the colder months because of the threats associated with being immunocompromised. It is such a scary time. A sad time. But it is also the perfect time. The perfect time for Twilight.
Backstory. My sister and I graduated high school in 2011 AKA peak Twilight mania. We read the books throughout high school, and as soon as the movies premiered (starting in 2008 and ending in 2012), we were there. We had an Edward cardboard cutout in our shared room (from Eclipse, where he sports a black shirt and an ‘I’ll fight to the death to protect her’ expression on his face- swoon!), multiple shirts from Hot Topic (the skin-tight circa 2009 style that so many of us soldiered through), and the belief we were on the side of righteousness in the Edward versus Jacob argument (I won’t even say our stance; surely it’s not needed here). Twilight, culturally, was a huge thing for us millennials. It united us, gave us hope for true love (now, as mothers of daughters, we are less appreciative of what could be considered Edward’s controlling nature, but back then-wedding bells), and generally, we came of age with Twilight as our manual.
In the years following the movies, Twilight faced (much) criticism (mostly deserved). It was one of those things, though; you just had to be there for it. I remember showing my husband the movies way later; we were in our mid-20s. He watched with a puzzled look on his face, then finally said, “Is this a B movie?” As the years passed, however, Twilight moved from being what could be considered an embarrassing obsession to a cult classic. Maybe those two things are the same. My sister and I were once again part of a group: The Twihards (also another Twilight group known as “the Ratters,” but that is a whole other, very weird story. But we love it.). Twilight was back, to the point that my husband and I saw “Twilight by Candlelight” at the Murat in Indianapolis: it was sold out, it was all people our exact age, and the movie was call and response- with the characters saying a line in the movie and all of the audience responding with the next line. Example: Edward (Robert Pattinson)- “As if you could outrun me!” Audience (millennial Twihards living their absolute best life and waiting for this moment since 2008) – “AS IF YOU COULD FIGHT ME OFF!”. Golden.
Back to the present, back to the uncertainty that is cancer at 34 and lives thrown for a loop.
The night that my sister had to miss her own kids’ birthday party, she and I went down to her basement, snuggled in, and turned on the first Twilight movie. It transported us. The movie is 201 minutes. For that entire time, we were elsewhere. Well, we were somewhere- Forks, Washington, but also other places: 2007 as underclassmen in high school at our first semi-formal dance (commenting on Bella’s use of Converse sneakers at her prom), 2008 with that trend of long-sleeve ribbed shirts with the buttons up the front and lacy tank tops underneath, 2009 with the swoon of watching Edward nonchalantly put his arm around Bella’s shoulders when he’s “breaking all the rules now.” Some things never die (but fortunately, fashion trends do).
Twilight gave us a pause on our reality. We laughed so hard at each part of the movie that has become part of the Twilight lingual sewer (TITSOAK- iykyk). We fell in love again with the two characters who share zero chemistry on screen. We absolutely wanderlusted over the Pacific Northwest. That dumb movie (said so lovingly but so accurately) restored us. We were happy.
Thank you, Twilight. You are our comfort blanket. You are nostalgia in the best way. I wish for everyone to have something like it in their own life, and if not, start searching. I hope you find it.
