When the New Year Isn’t so Shiny and Bright


The new year comes with the societal mindset of renewal and a fresh start. Resolutions and “what to accomplish in the next year” are the talk of the media and blasted all over social media. It is refreshing and wonderful to get caught up in the atmosphere of the new year. However, the dropping of the ball, fireworks, parties, etc. are not a magic spell that makes your problems melt away.

Sometimes the New Year isn’t so shiny and bright.

The last several years have been really rough on my family, but in particular the change from 2017 to 2018, I was NOT in the “New Year’s spirit.” We were in the middle of buying and selling a house. Our second child had been diagnosed with epilepsy, and 2017 Christmas involved seizure after seizure. In addition to that, my husband struggles with some addictions. I was not in the mindset to have a refreshing new positive outlook on life with resolutions and “what to accomplish in the next year” lists. I was not sure whether epilepsy would claim one of my sons from SUDEP (Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy). I was not sure whether my daughter would be spared epilepsy (She was not.). I was not certain whether my husband and I would be married, separated, or filing for divorce. It was tough, isolating, and depressing to not be in the “New Year’s spirit.”

Here is what I want to say

If the New Year does not seem so shiny and bright, it is OKAY.

Being sorrowful is OKAY.

Being uncertain is OKAY.

Being concerned is OKAY.

Feeling betrayed is OKAY.

Being disappointed is OKAY.

Feeling angry is OKAY.

It is OKAY to be grieving the loss of a loved one, job, security in a relationship, dream, etc.

It is OKAY to be worried about finances, your family, health, the future, etc.

Carrying heavy burdens into the New Year is OKAY.

What is not okay is to become isolated and consumed with those burdens to the point of interference with life.  If you are in a place where what you are carrying interferes with your daily life, please seek out professional help. Mental health is a self-referral process.

Counseling can be expensive.

If finances are the reason that you don’t seek out help, know that there are options.

  1. Local colleges or universities often have discounted sessions.
  2. State or County Health Department: If they do not have any resources, they will often know of different resources and programs in the area.
  3. Income-based therapists or life coaches
  4. Self-Help group: Personally, I have been involved in Women in the Battle (self-help group) for the last 2 years.  Women in the Battle comes out of a ministry called Living-Truth. If you have experienced sexual and/or emotional betrayal such as pornography or infidelity, please come join me at this group.  There is a life beyond the betrayal.

If you need help, please seek it out.

If you find yourself with the lack of “New Year’s spirit,” I want you to hear this.

You are not alone.You are seen. You are heard. You have worth. You are loved.