As 2025 drew to a close, my friend shared her accomplishment of 20,000+ Peloton minutes for the year (nearly an hour a day, if you’re counting). Several friends finished 50+ books, many topping 100. Others have knit elaborate sweaters, learned pottery, or traveled to interesting places. I know you’re thinking: I have some really cool friends. This is true, and I am very proud of them. But their awesomeness has me wondering: Am I bad at my hobbies?
Peloton didn’t show me an annual percentage increase graphic because I actually did less than last year. I read the same number of books. I haven’t knitted in a year or learned any new skills. Part of my brain is trying to tell me I’m a failure. “Everyone else is out there crushing it, reaching new heights, achieving new things. What are you doing with your life?” The other part of my brain says, “But I don’t want to do more!” This year, I’m listening to that second part.
When I consider it logically, the idea of exercising for an hour a day sounds arduous. Trying to cram more literature into my schedule feels excessive; I can barely remember the books I read as is. And honestly, I just don’t want to knit right now — or learn to do anything new. And that’s totally ok.
Hobbies are fun, not work
Hobbies are critical, especially for moms. They help us hold onto our identities as individuals while also filling our cups. But hobbies are not a competitive sport. They’re meant to be savored and enjoyed. When activities start becoming a chore, they fall down your priority list. Then we feel guilty for not getting to them, ultimately perceiving ourselves as failures. I don’t know about you, but that seems counter to the whole purpose of having a hobby in the first place.
I’m not working out to compete in an ultra or brag about the hours or miles I put in. I exercise because it makes me feel powerful and confident. Bonus: It’s good for me, too. If I spent more time on my fitness, I’d have less time for other things, like reading, girls’ nights, and writing. Not to mention the potential for injury and burnout.
We all have a finite amount of time available. It’s physically impossible to do more and more year after year. Eventually, your hobby will consume all your time and energy, which defeats the whole point. If you don’t do as much running/reading/knitting/traveling as someone else, it does not matter. If you have fewer interests than others, who cares? Sometimes our culture makes it feel like we are all in competition. For what? I’m not really sure.
So stop for a minute and ask yourself: Are you satisfied with what you accomplished? Do you feel fulfilled? If yes, that’s great! Don’t feel like you have to do more. Maybe chasing after a goal or pushing yourself sounds fun. Go after it! As long as you’re doing it for yourself. To be clear: I’m not saying hobbies shouldn’t be challenging — pushing yourself is part of the fun. I’m saying they shouldn’t be a chore. We already do enough of those.
Personally, I’m very happy with the mix of activities in my life. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. I’m not breaking personal records or ranking at the top of any lists. But I don’t need to. I love the balance I have.
Don’t take your hobbies too seriously. Pursue what you love at the pace you enjoy.
