I recently diagnosed myself with overtraining syndrome. This condition happens when you work out too hard and too often without giving yourself enough time to recover. The only remedy is rest, which, as a mom, is wildly challenging.
This syndrome has forced me to slow down and be more mindful of my time and physical energy. (Carrie Bradshaw voice) And that got me wondering: How many of us suffer from the mom version of over-training syndrome? Is it even possible to recover?
Falling into a constant state of motion
I am a smart exerciser. I know about slowly building up volume and intensity and getting adequate rest. I gradually worked up to my five-day-a-week schedule, giving myself two recovery/rest days every week. Those rest days are hard because I feel guilty for not doing more.
In my self-reflection, I realized that as the mother of a new kindergartener, there are no rest days. Sure, I’m not running four miles, but I’m still running around. Sit down, stand up. Go here. Go there. And I’m lifting 45 lbs. off and on all day. The work may be less intense, but it’s definitely not restful. Plus, I often plan my off days for the days I’m too busy to exercise, further contradicting the concept of rest.
Factor in that we had something scheduled every single weekend this summer. Every. Weekend. Whether it was multiple birthday parties, a trip to New York or the lake, weddings, camping, etc., we were constantly on the go. It got to the point where my son said, “Can you not make lots of plans next weekend?” We also worked full-time with unusually high workloads, and my son spent nine hours a day, five days a week at daycare.
In addition, I was jamming 45-minute workouts into this packed schedule. The result? Nonstop movement, under-fueling, undersleeping, missed moments, and an overall sense of chaos.
Peloton instructors always say, “You gotta show up on the hard days, even when you don’t feel like it.” At the same time, they also tell you, “Listen to your body.” So which is it? I chose the former, pushing through my fatigue because I feared losing my progress.
Something had to give. And in my case, it was my body and mind. (Overtraining syndrome symptoms are half mental, because of course.)
Embracing stillness
I finally faced the fact I couldn’t maintain my current frenetic state of motion. I needed to rest.
Instead of forcing a 45-minute workout into a 30-minute hole, I just… didn’t. I wrapped up some work things. I took more turns taking my son to and from school during his last weeks of pre-k, enjoying the few remaining leisurely hello and goodbye hugs. I refused to feel guilty about not exercising because rest is the only way I can keep doing what I love.
The absence of prolonged, high-intensity training gave me space to contemplate. In my stillness, I have realized that no one counts my weekly miles or judges the tone of my arms. No one besides my husband knew I was on a rest regimen.
I think this applies to moms in general, too. We don’t have to do all the activities. No one keeps a tally. In fact, if my son is evidence, our kids don’t want to be busy all the time. Finding some stillness is important.
Sure, in a mom’s case, it’s never literally stillness. But maybe it’s a more leisurely pace. Instead of zooming from a party to the pool and then out to eat because you want to get it all in, maybe just come home and play after the party — and order takeout! Take a minute to enjoy being with your family. Family bonding doesn’t always have to come from unique adventures.
Don’t get me wrong — movement is incredibly important for physical and mental health. But I’ve begrudgingly learned you can’t go all out in every workout, and some things are more important than logging a specific number of miles. For many of us moms, this is not our life season for peak fitness. And that’s OK. We have so many other responsibilities and things to get done. Some days, 20 minutes on the couch staring at our phones helps us more than 30 minutes pounding on the treadmill.
My takeaway from my mandatory pause is that seeking and embracing stillness (or some approximation) is valuable. Pause. Look around and enjoy the moment—even a small moment. Sometimes, doing nothing is everything.
Check out some tips from Indianapolis Moms on how to relax amid the chaos of kids.
