Finding Love on a Dating App Here in Indianapolis

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dating
©edenizilhan via Canda.com

When I was moving to Indy, my best friend told me I was going to meet someone and stay in the States with him, and I thought to myself, no, I’ll be back in a couple of years.

But she was right. I ended up meeting the love of my life on a dating app. When I first got here, I downloaded Bumble to meet new people in my new city, but maybe deep down, I was looking for something else.

I didn’t have a lot of experience with dating apps. I had only met four people in person before meeting my husband, and he was the only one who was worth it. The first one only wanted sex, and I wasn’t interested; I really liked another one, but when I looked him up on Facebook, I discovered he had a girlfriend; the third was fun to text with but in person was very creepy. In summary, I didn’t have the best experiences with meeting people online, and I’m not even mentioning the unsolicited pics and weird texts I got from the matches I never met.

On Bumble, women must always text first, and the first thing I said to Mark was “Yo” instead of “Hey,” thanks to the autocorrect – my phone was set up in Spanish.

Our first date was on 9/11/2019 so very easy to remember and it was SUPER awkward, I don’t know how we survived that. We went to an Ethiopian Restaurant that he picked because it was close to my apartment, so I could walk and escape if necessary. The first thing I noticed was that he was wearing sandals, and I don’t know why I was offended by it like he wasn’t even trying. The other thing is that he really didn’t understand anything I was saying because of my accent, and I really didn’t feel we connected. But he was sweet after that, and I didn’t have much to do, so we kept dating until the third date when he tried to kiss me. I decided to tell him I just wanted to be friends. The good thing was that he didn’t have much going on either, so we kept going out, but now I had to pay for myself because we were just friends. After a couple of months of going out as friends, I decided I really liked him and tried to send him hints, but he wouldn’t budge until one night, I got drunk and confessed. We fell in love quickly after that. Now, we are happily married with a two-year-old son, and I couldn’t be happier that I tried online dating when I first moved here.

We are not experts on online dating and may not be up to date on these matters, but Mark and I would like to give you some tips.

Carla’s Tips:

  • If you want to meet someone, set a date fast. You can often get stuck with just texting, and you can end up never setting a date before the texts fade. So, if you think you have a good match, set a date soon.
  • Be safe; beware of scammers. Once you set a date, be sure to tell someone where and with whom you’ll be, share your location, and keep communicating with them.
  • Give it a real chance once you meet each other, and then decide if you want to pursue something. Sometimes, we are looking for specific qualities or connections that can take time to emerge. I’m sure my younger self wouldn’t have given me the opportunity to know Mark because of the awkwardness of the first date and because, at first glance, it seemed like we didn’t have much in common.

Mark’s Tips:

  • Don’t give up on it. I had done a lot of online dating and was pretty much over it. I only kept doing it because I didn’t have a lot of friends in this state, so sometimes it was just something to do. My effort got lower (see comment on sandals above), but I kept trying nonetheless, and I am so glad I did!
  • Be open to friendship: I was only looking for a relationship for a long time. Once I had gotten over that and became open to platonic friendships through online dating, I started forming the best relationships.
  • It’s a great place to find a dog 😉 I got my best friend through a failed relationship, and it’s the second-best thing I have ever gotten from online dating.

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