Anonymous Stories in Motherhood: Let’s Talk about the Taboo of Sex


I once saw a tank top marketed specifically for women, and it said, “I’m into butt stuff,” and it made me laugh. It showed a woman with a barbell on her back and was referring to squats at the gym, but it of course had that double entendre of naughtiness. And it truly made me wonder how many women besides me were actually indeed into, well, anal sex.

Personally, I have discovered that anal sex is amazing and is something that can be truly enjoyable for the man and the woman. I have heard many women talk negatively about anal sex and I don’t get it. I was not always a big fan of it; for a very long time, I resisted even the idea of it, let alone trying it. But I learned firsthand if done with someone who knows what they are doing, anal sex can enhance your sex life. I guess I feel I am an advocate for this act because it can truly be a pleasurable experience that if given a try, ladies might retract their initially hostility or adamance against it.

Yet, the immediate disdain for anal sex by women seems so rampant. When the topic of it comes up with my female friends, the typical reaction is negative and extreme disregard for it altogether.

The idea of sex in general also stirs up some negative reactions at times. There are many comments made about preferences for frequency of sex, or lack of frequency, for that matter. One consistent echo I have heard is the idea that anal sex is out of the question. Most, if not all women I have discussed this topic with, have told me resoundingly they won’t even consider it. And as much as I try to explain that they are missing out, or that they should at the very least try it out, they still protest. I understand the hesitation. We perhaps fear pain. We perhaps fear the taboo nature of the act. Yet, overcoming that hesitation is possible and totally worth it. 

Anal sex can allow for added anticipation, even additional curiosity with your partner. The bottom line is that anal sex can be mind-blowing and unbelievably fulfilling in your relationship. Maybe you just need the right person to try it with, to feel safe, to feel sexy, to feel desired on every inch of your body. It can be completely liberating and fulfilling at the same time.