Deciding on Our Second Baby


There is a 6 almost 7-year age gap between my kids. For the longest time, I didn’t think we would have another. We would be one and done. I loved our little family, and it was hard to imagine adding another to our family equation. With each passing year, our son grew more independent. He could feed himself, take himself to the bathroom, and cleaned himself with little assistance, so the thought of adding a baby to our family didn’t really appeal to us, or at least to me. A baby needs everything! Then my son started kindergarten. I remember very vividly being in Target getting back to school items, and it hit me. I don’t have any more babies. I’ll never have another one to get ready for their first day of kindergarten. Then, all the other firsts went through my head, first time crawling, walking, saying first words, and that beautiful first smile. I would never get to experience that again. I realized in the middle of a Target aisle filled with markers, crayons, glue, and paper that I wanted another baby.  

I did not share with anyone that I wanted another baby. Maybe I only felt I wanted another baby because my only baby was going to school, so I wanted to wait it out and see if the feeling would go away. But it didn’t. Instead, it grew stronger. I started looking at other families when we were out and guessing the age gap between their kids. I started looking at baby items online. We had an extra room in our home, and I started imagining what it would look like as a nursery. I realized it was time to talk with my husband about having another baby. Luckily, the conversation went well, and we both agreed we wanted to add to our family.

Once I did get pregnant, I was worried about what my son would think. How would he feel? He’d been an only child for 6 years and had no competition for his parent’s attention or affection. Babies need a lot of attention, and I didn’t want him to feel left out. I dedicated a good amount of time reading articles about siblings and talking with other parents about what worked for them and what didn’t when introducing a new sibling. All my worries weren’t justified. He was the sweetest during my pregnancy and always asked me how I was feeling. When his sister was born, he was so excited and loves being a big brother.  When my daughter celebrated her first birthday a few months ago, I realized she wasn’t only celebrating her first birthday, but it was the first anniversary of us being a family of four. We’re done adding to our family. The four of us feel complete. I’ve already promised my husband when our daughter starts school, I won’t ask for another baby. 


  1. Thank you for sharing this Chandler! Your heart felt transparency was very refreshing. Just what we all need right now.

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