Do You Know Your Love Language?


Do you know your love language? What about your partner’s love language? Or the love language of your kid(s)? If you had asked me a year ago, I would have said my love language was chocolate chip cookies and uninterrupted showers (can I get an amen?) Finding out what my and my husband’s love languages were was a game changer for our relationship. It allowed me to be more intentional with my actions and the same for him.

So how did I come to find out our Love Languages? It started with the book, “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman

According to Chapman, there are 5 Love Languages:
-Physical Touch
-Words of Affirmation
-Receiving Gifts
-Quality Time
-Acts of Service

My husband and I took the quiz (mama—this may take some convincing on your part, but trust me…he’ll be glad he did) and his love language is quality time and mine is words of affirmation and they even rank the 5 love languages for you based on your answers to the quiz. This was vital information for us! Moving forward, I made sure to put my phone down, get to bed earlier instead of just watching TV or mindlessly scrolling so we could focus on quality time with each other which is challenging with work and 2 boys! He has made huge strides in giving me words of affirmation more often as well (“nice butt” is always a good one!) It’s all about being intentional and speaking out loud about your needs.

But what about your kids? You can also find out the love language of your kids with this fun quiz you can do with them. It’s a great way to know how to best communicate with your kids as well. I’m sure you can guess what your kiddos’ love language is before even taking the quiz—are they very cuddly (physical touch), or do they always want you to sit down and play with them or show you something (quality time)? So on the days when you just don’t want to be touched anymore or if you have to go look at one more Lego creation…recognize that perhaps for your child that is their love language and you taking the few minutes to recognize that will make them feel amazing. Just like your relationship with your spouse, this is an excellent tool for being intentional with your kids and showing them that you recognize and validate their love languages as well.

So…do you think you know what your love language is? I would encourage you to take the quiz for yourself and see how it helps your relationship with your partner and your kids. Our church in Brownsburg is actually hosting the author of the book later this month for a workshop on identifying your and your partner’s love language. Relationships take work especially with work, kids and ALL THE THINGS. It’s ok to seek out tools like this to help make your relationships the best they can be. You might even be able to figure out the love language of other family members, friends, colleagues and even your boss (now wouldn’t that be beneficial?) Let me know if your family ends up taking the quiz! It certainly was a game changer for us, and I know it will be for you.

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Emily and her husband (who is also her high school sweetheart) have lived in Brownsburg since 2004. They have two boys (Dylan & Tyler) that keep them very busy! Emily is a nonprofit professional and also wellness expert. She is a Whole30 Certified Coach and the host of The Self Care Isn't Selfish Podcast. You can also find Emily teaching fitness classes and getting her own butt kicked at Orangetheory. Motivated by her own family's wellness transformation, Emily coaches and helps inspire other busy moms like herself to make their health a priority in their lives, and take the time to put themselves first #selfcareisntselfish Emily loves to write about health, fitness, being a working #boymom and of course self care. You can find her on Instagram and check out her online courses and the podcast at: