Earlier this summer, my family and I were able to escape to the beach for a few short days before the summer craziness began. While the weather was not great (read: rainy and/or cold and/or windy), the time together was really wonderful. As we were walking on the beach, collecting seashells, I noticed that my nine-year-old had a very good approach to choosing her shells. Unlike me, she was not looking for perfection; it didn’t matter to her whether it was symmetrical and unbroken by the realities of ocean life. What mattered to her was how she felt when she looked at it. Even if it was cracked and broken, she was finding beauty in the color palettes, the shapes, and the simple way it made her feel when she looked at it. I realized, as we walked on that beach, she wasn’t chasing perfection- she was finding beauty in what is.
In a world that is curated more and more to reflect perfection, I worry that I sometimes struggle to find beauty in what is. I look at my home, my body, my roles, my social circles and, if I’m not careful, can quickly find myself in a comparison game with a social media algorithm whose aim is to make me discontent. The algorithm isn’t intended to reinforce contentment with one’s life. It is only profitable when I continue to scroll, looking for the product that will bring perfection into my life. It reinforces the idea that many facets of my life need to be improved instead of finding the beauty in what is.
I am an Enneagram 1, which means that I am highly susceptible to the idea of improvement and achieving perfection. Give me a perfectly timed algorithm when my house feels too cluttered and “lived in,” and I will find myself filled with loathing for all the “stuff” I’ve let accumulate and my inability to keep it contained. I will become convinced that I need to purchase every organizer showcased as the “perfect solution”. In fact, I’ve had a number of utensil drawer organizers saved in my Amazon cart for a few months now. I am trying to find beauty in what is more in my life, and one tactic I’ve been employing is adding that “perfect” item to my “saved for later” list to see if I do actually need to add it into the cart. While this approach has been fairly easy to adopt, finding the beauty in what is in other areas of my life has been more challenging. Inanimate objects are, as it turns out, a bit easier to find the beauty in what is than the most vulnerable areas of my life.
In a world that consistently is trying to sell us on needing the newest trend, supplement, accessory, vacation destination, and a million other things, I am trying to hold myself more to my daughter’s approach. Instead of chasing moments, objects, and people that meet perfection, I’m instead in the pursuit of finding beauty in what is. My hope is that I find as much contentment in my life as my daughter walking on the beach choosing perfectly imperfect shells…What an apt metaphor for life that particular walk on the beach turned out to be. May we all continue finding beauty in what is.
