Hear me out. Before you eye roll, before you stop reading, before you presume you’re not that mom, I reassure you all the holiday commotion, all the extra to-do’s, all the traditions are not just for posting on your social; they are actually scientifically essential for your family. Let me clear the air. Yes, this time of year is exhausting. Yes, for many, the primary responsibility for orchestrating ALL THE THINGS is ours. And, yes, it can feel extra, commercialized, and expensive. But, establishing and maintaining holiday traditions of any kind does not have to be. Here’s why the whole family (including you) need it:
Traditions, no matter how flashy or ordinary, are critical to our sense of stability, predictability, continuity, and comfort.
Traditions are a hug for our soul. Children and adults alike rely on traditions to provide a sense of belonging. Whereas many view holiday traditions as extra work, they actually reduce stress and increase physical and mental health because they are automatic. No extra thought is required. Plug and play. So, keep the cocoa and movie night. Break out the puzzle. Hang the mistletoe. Whatever it is, do it.
Traditions allow us (especially our children) to understand who we are, how we are the same as others, and how we are different.
Traditions are an important part of our family identity and valuable tools for expressing our cultural and religious values. They also transmit knowledge to future generations.
Traditions connect families.
I wish we hosted family game nights regularly, but we don’t. November through December? That Scrabble board takes up permanent residence on the kitchen table. Why? It’s what we do. Traditions are a rite of passage. They bring us together when life tries to send us different directions. They slow the pace and place emphasis on who and what we value.
Traditions are our legacy.
It’s sad that our sleep-deprived, energy-deficient years are responsible for such weighty and significant stuff, but listen, ladies. Your efforts today are tantamount to your legacy; they are what your children will remember and take forward to their families. Choose wisely and stay strong! Your efforts are worthy.
Finally, traditions are FUN!
In a world that often feels tense, uncertain, and downright difficult, traditions allow us to celebrate and focus on the good. They create brilliant memories and allow you to put your effort where your values are. Traditions elevate our experiences and enrich our lives. They are good.
So, if you’re ready to dive in but your head is spinning on how or where to begin, let me help you simplify:
Start with what you know. What is important to you? What do you remember from your childhood that brings value to your family now? Maybe it’s as simple as preparing a special dish served at dinner, sitting at the window looking for the North Star, reading a passage, playing a game, or sitting together around a fire.
Traditions do not have to cost a penny. I would absolutely love to take my kids to flashy shows in sparkly dresses every year. It’s just not possible. But we never skip the drive around the neighborhood, looking at all the holiday lights. We watch the same movie line-up. We have a living room dance party. The same basket of special books graces the coffee table, and that darn little elf pops up, making mischief all December. The most valuable traditions are people-based, not things-based. We remember people and feelings far more than we remember gifts.
If you have the little stuff on lock-down and are ready to amp it up, take a look at Pinterest, but be cautious. Do NOT start down the dark path of social media comparison. Traditions are about you and your family. A few fun ideas we’ve implemented over the years include an advent calendar, Christmas movie-themed dinner nights (like green pancakes for the Grinch or Rice Krispie Treat “snowballs” for Frosty), a hot cocoa bar, and obnoxious Christmas sweats and sweaters. We open gifts in a certain way, we play the same games around the dinner table, and we put up more trees than any one family should.
Let your traditions build over time. For example, when our oldest graduated from high school, I didn’t know what to do with all his trophies, medals, and jerseys. The jerseys became a tree skirt and garland, and disassembled trophies and medals were transformed into ornaments. My son’s own “Tree of Champions” was complete with his old football helmet for a topper. Now, each time one of my children graduates, a new tree of memories graces the halls of the Hauser house. (Yes, that’s a lot of trees.)
Mamas, the holidays can be tough. Rather than stress over all the extra time, energy, and effort, let traditions, big or small, bring you the peace, joy, and comfort you and your family deserve. Here’s to one big hug for your holiday soul!
