No, I Don’t Want A Girl

I don’t need a girl. I’m not hoping or praying for a girl. We weren’t trying for a girl. A girl will not complete my family or mean that we are done having children.

Whew, it feels good to get that off my chest.

You see, we have one child, a boy, whom we love more than anything else in this world, which is why it’s so mind-boggling to me when everyone assumes that we must want our unborn baby to be a girl. I know that society’s clichés tell us that the perfect family boasts a child of each sex – one in pink, one in blue, a mama’s boy and a daddy’s girl, a rough and tumble little boy and a doll-toting girly girl. But I would have thought that any parent to experience the joy of holding their baby for the first time would know that what’s between their legs is so unimportant in the grand scheme of things that I really couldn’t care less.

When I was pregnant with my son I was (foolishly) convinced that he was a girl. I’m a girly girl who grew up close with my sisters. I dreamt of a little girl. Every single old wives tale pointed to a girl. So imagine my surprise when science didn’t care about any of that stuff and the ultrasound tech said “It’s a boy!” I was shocked and didn’t know how to respond. I realize now just how naïve I was.

I have never been more grateful than the moment my son was born and placed on my chest – healthy, strong, wailing. It felt as if I had known him my whole life, like I had been waiting my entire life just to meet him, like we were meant to be. I knew I was lucky to have him there with me, and as time went on that realization only grew. I watched friends and family members battle infertility, miscarriages, and the loss of a child. How could I ever want anything more than what we were so fortunate to experience the first time around? The simple truth is that I don’t.

So when we have our anatomy scan in two weeks, we won’t be finding out the sex of our second child. Instead I will watch the screen in awe of the life we’ve created and wonder if this little one will have their daddy’s smile and their brother’s wild hair, if they’ll be a good sleeper or a party baby, if they’ll be shy or outgoing. And if I’m fortunate enough to snuggle and nurse and love on him or her come this January, I’ll know that we were blessed with the perfect addition to our family.