The Pressure of Being a Teacher’s Kid

As a young first-grade teacher, I loved having co-worker’s children in my classroom. Like their educator parents, these “teachers’ kids” knew the ins and outs of our building and were fluent in school-wide rules and procedures. They were typically natural leaders, academically strong and well-behaved, and I knew I could count on them to set the standard for the rest of the class. 

But when I returned to the teaching profession with elementary-aged children of my own, I witnessed the pressure that often comes with being the “teacher’s kid.” This implicit assumption that educators’ children always portray school lifelines and serve as an example for others is somewhat naive. Because if, or rather when, they don’t, it inevitably leads to an overwhelming level of guilt and frustration.

A lot of the burden of expectation comes from within. I often feel a heightened sense of responsibility for my child’s behavior, worrying that their actions reflect on my competence as a parent and an educator. This internal pressure to have my child “measure up” adds to the stress of an already challenging job.

When my child misbehaves, the stakes feel so much higher. I fear that their behavior will be judged more harshly because of my role in the building. I imagine other parents thinking, “If the teacher’s kid is acting out, what does that say about them as a teacher?” This pressure can lead to a sense of shame, both for me and for my child, who feels the weight of these expectations, even if they don’t fully understand them.

The truth is that children are individuals with their own personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. Just because I’m a teacher doesn’t mean my child is immune to struggles, whether it’s trouble focusing in class, difficulty managing emotions, or simply the occasional outburst that comes with being a kid. I frequently remind myself (and my child) that it’s okay to make mistakes and that these mishaps are essential to learning and growing. 

Redefining what it means to be the “teacher’s kid” involves shifting the focus from unrealistic expectations to embracing individuality, self-compassion, and understanding. Instead of seeing my children as a reflection of my professional role, I’m trying to recognize and celebrate them as their own people. I hope that this change gives us the grace we need to navigate this unique dynamic.