It’s no secret that being a parent is deeply difficult work. Beautiful and rewarding, yes, but also exhausting, confusing, and confronting work. While I can point to a few specific examples of moments I felt confident in how I handled something with my kids, the truth is, I’m often left scratching my head, feeling unprepared, or even worse, regretful of how I handled a situation instead of proud.
Because there is no road map and all kids are different, it can feel intimidating and lonely trying to lovingly guide our kids through this world. As an antidote to these feelings, I imagine many moms may feel, I asked several of my friends to share something they’re proud of in motherhood. I intentionally left the question vague to allow people room to answer in whatever ways they wanted, and the overwhelming sentiment when I asked the question was, “This is harder than I thought!” I think this speaks to the intangible work that so many of us are doing; it can feel hard to pinpoint even one thing some days that conjures up a sense of pride. But there are so many heartwarming moments happening within the walls of our homes, in our cars, around the table each day, and I think it’s important to stop and recognize them. So without further ado, here are the responses that I received from many of the trusted women in my life who are mothering alongside me:
“I’m proud of how I’ve learned to let things stay unfinished on my to-do list. I’ve discovered that I prefer to be a mom who enjoys the day rather than maximizes the day. Don’t get me wrong, there are still harried days when I feel like I’m playing Tetris to get the true urgent things done. But I’ve learned to be comfortable with leaving the false urgent stuff hanging.”
“I’m proud of skipping the things I don’t care about while my kids are too young to care either way.”
“I’m proud of continuing paid work as a mom, hoping to model for my kids that there are many important ways that women show up and contribute in the world.”
“I’m proud of learning to let go of perfectionism and loosen my grip on control. I’ve chosen presence, flexibility, and grace over doing it all perfectly, trusting that my kids don’t need a perfect mom, just a present one.”
“I’m proud that at 17, our daughter wants to climb into bed to hang out with us. At times I’m tired, but man, I’m thankful! I’m proud she wants to be with us.”
“I’m proud of instilling and promoting a sense of friendship amongst my kiddos. Yes, you are siblings, but you also can be one another’s dear friend.”
“Every day I’m proud that my girls are already stronger and more independent-minded than I have ever been!”
“I’m proud that my kids are flexible, open-minded travelers who are always ready for the next adventure.”
“I’m proud of modeling humility and apologizing to my kids when I overreact.”
“I’m proud of how I embraced pregnancy and breastfeeding with joy, trusted my body through every step, and found strength to pivot when things didn’t go as planned. I showed up with love in those early days — learning, nurturing, and giving so much of myself. Most of all, I’m proud of how I’ve come to love my body for all it’s done. This journey has shaped me in the most beautiful way, and I wouldn’t trade it.”
“I’m proud that my son was picked by his teacher to welcome the new kid in class, and the teacher trusted my son to sit next to him.”
“I’m proud of enforcing no TV on Sundays. We’ve done it for a year now, and it’s turned out to be great for everyone! It came with a lot of backlash, and I’m proud of sticking with it.”
“I’m proud of how I’ve found a balance for my own parenting sanity between doing all the things and also setting boundaries when we need to lay low and recharge at home.”
“I’m proud that I’ve stayed committed to my relationships with my kids, even when it’s been hard. It’s taken work to not let behavior–mine or theirs–get in the way, and I feel really lucky to be in a place where I truly enjoy all of them!”
“I’m proud of being able to show up (both emotionally and physically) even when I’m running on empty. A lot of people think motherhood is just about what you do for your kids, but the harder, less talked about part is managing yourself, in my opinion. My patience, tone, consistency–my ability to reset after a rough moment and not spiral.”
“I’m proud that my kids feel confident and safe to be their authentic selves.”
“I’m proud of apologizing to my kids and that they know mistakes are part of growing into better people.”
“I’m proud of figuring out what I need to be the best mom for my kids, and I’m proud of advocating for those needs, even when they’re inconvenient.”
“I’m proud of all the plates I have managed to keep spinning and the way things have stayed afloat amongst jobs and the craziness of raising our kids!”
I’m teary re-reading all of these responses and thinking about women all over the world engaging with, advocating for, and fiercely loving their kids. I hope you see yourself reflected in the words of these women, and I hope you stop today to reflect on your own points of pride in motherhood.
