I see it all the time on social media: a new mom shares a photo just a few weeks postpartum (especially “influencers”) — standing proudly but framing it as a “before” picture. A few months later, she posts her “after” shot, celebrating her “transformation” back to her “old body” or something even “better.”
While there’s nothing wrong with celebrating your body, in any form, it can send a heavy, complicated message to moms. It suggests that our postpartum body is a starting line, a problem to solve, or something we’re supposed to be racing to leave behind.
But let’s be clear: your postpartum body is not a “before” picture.
It’s the picture. It’s a portrait of everything you have done. It’s a picture of strength, resilience, and love. It’s a picture of survival and new beginnings — and it deserves to be seen and celebrated, not compared and judged.
The Reality of Postpartum Bodies
Right now, I am living this experience firsthand. I’m five weeks postpartum with my third baby, a beautiful little boy who completed our family. And this time, if I’m being completely vulnerable, I gained more weight than I had with either of my first two pregnancies. This time, the weight is not falling off like it did with my other two pregnancies. I’m in foreign territory, and it’s uncomfortable.
The transition has not been easy. Maternity clothes are now too big, but my regular clothes are still too small. Getting dressed each day feels daunting. I have to find clothes that actually fit and make it easy to nurse a baby. Even though I know five weeks is such a short amount of time in the grand scheme of recovery, I still sometimes find myself frustrated, feeling like I should look or feel different by now.
It’s a daily practice to remind myself: there’s no “bouncing back.” There’s only moving forward. And moving forward looks different for every mom, every time.
So Many Factors Influence Our Postpartum Bodies
One of the biggest myths we see online is the idea that postpartum appearance is purely a matter of effort or willpower. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. What your body looks like, and how it heals, in the weeks and months after birth is shaped by so many factors, most of which are entirely outside your control. Some of these include genetics, pregnancy weight gain (which can vary greatly even between different pregnancies), water retention, and the type of delivery you had, whether vaginal or cesarean. Healing is also influenced by how much swelling and inflammation you experienced, whether you’re breastfeeding, how your hormones are shifting, how much sleep you’re getting (or, more accurately, not getting), and your overall mental health and stress levels.
And we can’t forget the basic truth: your body is healing from something profound.
Growing and delivering a human being is nothing short of miraculous, and traumatic, even when it’s a “perfect” birth story. Your organs are still moving back into place. Your uterus is shrinking. Your joints and ligaments are recovering from the stretching that pregnancy demands. Your skin, muscles, and tissues are all adjusting after months of rapid change. No diet, exercise routine, or positive thinking can override the biology of recovery.
When you really think about it, the idea that anyone would look “unchanged” after all that isn’t just unrealistic.
Loving a Body That Feels Different
Learning to love your postpartum body isn’t about pretending you don’t struggle. It’s not about forcing yourself to admire every new curve or mark right away. It’s about offering yourself grace as you navigate this transition.
It’s absolutely okay to miss how your body used to feel. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable in your own skin. It’s okay to wish you could throw on your favorite jeans again without a second thought. And it’s okay to feel frustrated while trying to figure out what to wear; I feel it almost every day right now. Acknowledging these feelings doesn’t make you shallow or ungrateful. It doesn’t mean you love your baby any less. It means you’re human and adjusting to a profound life change. When you start feeling defeated, remind yourself: you are not starting over. You are moving forward in a new, beautiful, and sometimes messy chapter.
Healing is More Than Just Physical
When we talk about postpartum healing, it’s easy to focus only on the physical, the stitches, the scars, the weight. But healing also happens inside: mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
Postpartum can crack you wide open. It challenges your identity, your sense of independence, and your emotional stability. As new moms, we often carry invisible weights: the crushing pressure of mom guilt (“Am I doing enough?”), new anxieties (“Is my baby okay? Will I be okay?”), loneliness even when surrounded by people, and the often-unspoken identity crisis of wondering, “Who am I now?” And all of this happens while your body is already exhausted and working overtime.
You’re not just healing from childbirth. You’re healing from all the expectations you didn’t even realize you had — the dreams that changed, the fears that surfaced, the beautiful but hard reality of life with a new little person depending on you. It’s no wonder it feels overwhelming at times.
Giving Yourself Permission
If you need someone to say it out loud for you, let it be me:
You have permission to love your body exactly as it is, today.
Not when the weight is gone.
Not when your strength is back.
Not when you can zip up your pre-pregnancy jeans.
Your body is worthy of your pride and compassion.
It doesn’t need to be framed as a “before” photo waiting for an “after.” It is the after. The after of creating life, carrying hope, and welcoming a new soul into the world.
You are not a project. You are a miracle.
And for goodness sake, unfollow the “influencer” who is making you feel less than a warrior.
Moving Forward, Not Backward
There’s no “back” to get to. There’s only forward — toward a life richer and fuller than before. You are not the same woman you were before this baby, and that’s a good thing. You are more. More experienced, more loving, more aware of your own strength.
Your postpartum body is not a before picture. It is the masterpiece of a life well-lived, and love made visible.
