This is the final post in a four-part series centered on listening to lived experiences with racism.
In the first three parts of this series, we have heard stories from people of different races, backgrounds, and lived experiences. I am so grateful to each person who shared their story. Listening to these stories has profoundly impacted me. My eyes and heart have been opened to experiences I may never fully understand firsthand, but that have changed how I listen and respond.
These stories matter deeply to me because they came from people I know and love—people I do life with. When we move beyond headlines and statistics and truly listen to someone’s lived experience, it stays with us differently.
Now that we have listened and sat with these stories, we have to ask ourselves: where do we go from here?
The goal of learning is never to just gather information and then return to life as usual, but to let what we have learned shape and impact us and how we show up in our lives and communities. But I think many of us get stuck here. We are so afraid of getting it wrong that we end up doing nothing at all. Or we take a small step forward, fumble, and decide it feels safer to disengage. But we cannot let fear of imperfection keep us frozen.
We will fumble at times. We will have moments where we realize we could have handled something differently or listened better. When that happens, we own it, learn from it, get back up, and keep going.
I think many of us feel overwhelmed and unsure of where to begin. But over time, I have realized this work begins right here in our everyday lives. It often looks like expanding our circles, truly listening with our defenses down, and staying even when it feels uncomfortable. It also means paying attention to the systems, policies, and decisions that shape people’s experiences and opportunities. It looks like researching candidates and policies before voting—carefully considering how everyone in our community is affected. This isn’t a list to check off, but a shift in how we live and show up in our homes, neighborhoods, schools, and churches.
In this journey, we have to start with ourselves. The work here is not just calling out racism in others. It’s first examining our own biases, and we all have them. If we find ourselves saying, “I can’t be racist because I ________” (fill in the blank: have friends who aren’t white, adopted a child of a different race, dated someone who isn’t white, etc.), we need to step back and take a closer look. There is no exemption card here.
For me, this has included recognizing places where I’ve held fear or misunderstanding toward people of different backgrounds or beliefs. Fear is a particularly strong motivator when it comes to keeping biases in place. I often ask myself the question Emily P. Freeman recommends for making decisions: Am I being led by love or pushed by fear? I think all of us want to be led by love, and when we pause to ask ourselves that question, the answer to what next often becomes clear.
In these conversations and moments of listening, I have learned that racism is rarely just an isolated moment; for many people, it is the undercurrent of their lives. When we begin to understand that, something in us shifts. We move less quickly to defensiveness and more toward empathy.
At the end of the day, we all want to be seen, heard, believed, and valued. And we all have the ability to offer that to someone else.
As I’ve reflected on these stories, these words from Michelle Obama have stayed with me:
“Race and racism is a reality that so many of us grow up learning to just deal with. But if we ever hope to move past it, it can’t just be on people of color to deal with it. It’s up to all of us—Black, white, everyone—no matter how well-meaning we think we might be, to do the honest, uncomfortable work of rooting it out.”
None of us will do this perfectly. But we can keep listening, keep learning, and keep showing up for one another. This is where change begins.
To help us keep showing up and doing the work, here are some resources that have been incredibly helpful on my own journey. This is just a starting point. I would love to hear what resources, voices, or spaces you’ve found meaningful. Share them in the comments so we can keep learning together.
Books
Dear White Peacemakers by Osheta Moore
I Take My Coffee Black by Tyler Merritt
How We Show Up by Mia Birdsong
Children’s Books
The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson
This Book is Antiracist by Tiffany Jewell
This Book is Antiracist Journal by Tiffany Jewell
The Antiracist Kid by Tiffany Jewell
Podcasts
Code Switch
Voices to follow
Osheta Moore
Local spaces & resources
Loudmouth Books
