Personally, I do not feel like I can choose words to describe the last few years. Any narrative I can think of doesn’t come close to conveying the way we have felt since March of 2020. If I am honest, I was looking forward to 2021 with a heart full of hope. I think we all were. In my opinion, we aren’t much farther forward than we were a year ago. If anything, I feel more divided and distanced this year than I did 365 days ago. I want to think that this upcoming year will bring us a healthier, happier, more confident outlook on the world around us. For myself, that thought seems almost foolish, so I hold that flicker of hope close to my chest and instead have looked at my own surroundings for inspiration.
Walking into 2022, I have chosen a word to focus on instead of a resolution. I have very wise mama friends who do this every year, and likely a word will encompass so much more than an empty resolution for me. The word I have chosen is healing. Actively participating in the process of taking those areas in my life that are uncomfortable and trying to figure out how and if it serves me, reckoning with it, and lighting a match to all the things I will no longer tolerate.
It sounds like a lot, and it is. This is why I chose healing, with an emphasis on the ing. It’s a process that likely lasts a lifetime, but we all have to start somewhere. For me, this looks like a lot of different things. Knowledge is one. I have tasked myself with reading at least one self-help book a month. I don’t always love self-help books and have never wholeheartedly agreed with all the outlines and suggestions that one has. However, I can pull out pieces of advice and quotes to think about and arrange them together into something that works for me. Therapy will be a big part of this year as well. Therapy is the most wonderful tool (if you aren’t in it, you should be), and I am looking forward to unpacking with the guidance and direction of my therapist. As a Christian, I want to grow in my faith, which means spending more time in prayer and hopefully feeling fully comfortable attending church again. Finally, looking at myself and discerning what I can change and what I cannot. What is worth my time and what is not. I hope to identify why I parent like I do, how that affects my children, and what needs to be altered. Where friction rises in my marriage and if I am being the best wife I can be for my husband. What is worthy of my time and what are things that can be pushed away, as well as the things I need to take care of right now. There is much to be done, and it’s time for me to roll up my sleeves and do the work.
If resolutions tend to fall flat for you, maybe think on a word or group of words to focus on this year. There is only so much we can take hold of when it comes down to it, and much of what we are anxious about is out of our hands. In the upcoming year, focus on your home, your children, your relationships, and let everything else go. Strike a match and let it burn. Here’s to a year of growth, joy, health, and walking out of 2022 with far less anxiety and grief than we entered it with.
