Like so many of us, I’m constantly reevaluating my relationship with social media and screen time. And by “reevaluating,” I mostly mean trying to cut back and reclaim my attention from the billionaire tech overlords. I logged out of my personal Instagram account months ago, and I’ve been absolutely shocked to learn something: I don’t miss Instagram. Not even a little bit.
If you had asked me a year ago whether I liked Facebook or Instagram more, I absolutely would have said Instagram. And for a long time, that was true! I loved seeing photos of my family across the country, of my friends’ travels, and cute babies in Halloween costumes. I loved beautiful images of art, flowers, and national parks. I loved finding inspiring quotes, creative graphics, and Instagram poets. For years, I found so much value in accounts that shared recipes, parenting hacks, and news.
But then, Instagram changed.
No matter how I tried to manipulate the algorithm, I almost never saw photos from people I knew in real life. My feed became completely inundated with sponsored posts and advertisements, making it hard to tell what was what at times. And maybe I’m an old lady, but I didn’t want to watch more videos! I wanted photographs, and I wanted meaningful captions. I couldn’t find them on Instagram anymore.
At the same time, as annoying as Facebook can be, it still feels useful. I learn a lot from the gardening pages I follow, and I’m part of a few groups that are active, positive, and add real value to my life. Many local places continue to share events on Facebook. I can keep up with happenings at my kids’ school and connect with other parents. I never would have predicted that one day, I’d value Facebook more than Instagram–but that’s where I am! (For the record, I don’t keep the Facebook app on my phone, and I try to stay logged out on the web browser so that I’m only using it on my computer…mixed results, there.)
Every once in a great while, I feel the urge to get on Instagram. (Usually, that’s been because I want to know what Sharon Says So is saying about a particular event in the news.) But that’s pretty rare! I’ve found other ways of engaging and finding the content I want:
- I’m back on Pinterest. Pinterest is also different than it used to be, and the ads and shopping links are annoying. But for inspiring images, Pinterest is still a good fit, and the changes mean I won’t just browse and scroll aimlessly beyond a certain point.
- I subscribe to people’s newsletters. Do I like email less than social media? Yes. But because of that, I am not as tempted to waste my time on an email newsletter. If I’m interested, I read it. If not, I delete. It’s so much better for my mental frame of mind, and I still support my favorite writers this way.
- I remember that “keeping tabs” is not the same as “connection.” I can’t remember where I first heard this, but it has totally changed the way I think about and approach social media. I do not need to keep tabs on everyone from every stage of my life, nor do I need or want to keep tabs on most of the content being pumped out on social media every single minute.
- I use my screen time for other things that feel better than Instagram. It’s not the same as reducing screentime, but I’m trying to retrain my habits so that when I pick up my phone, I go to Duolingo, NYT Games, the Kindle app, or Substack. None of those apps make me feel as anxious or distracted as Instagram does.
Sometimes, I feel for the writers, photographers, and even influencers I loved who put out content that was interesting, inspiring, and entertaining. It’s a bummer that Meta kind of ruined what Instagram was and could have been. There was also a time when I thought I wanted to do the Instagram hustle, trying to write high-quality content to share there every day and start building a platform as a writer. But all that has lost its appeal, mostly thanks to the algorithm and reels. I would so much rather take those hours for reading books, writing for myself, and face-to-face time with people I love in the places I love.
But I think the main reason I don’t miss Instagram is that I don’t miss the way it makes me feel. Browsing Instagram went from a mostly mindless, mostly neutral activity to a habit that made me feel discontented and anxious. It made me want to spend money I didn’t need to spend, which made me feel guilty and led to more clutter in my house, which in turn led to more anxiety and more work. The onslaught of horrible news and inflammatory statements mixed in with recipes and OOTD and GRWM videos made me live in a constant state of whiplash, never certain about what my next right step was, and never focused enough on one topic to think clearly or take meaningful action.
I wish I could better explain the actual physical sensation scrolling Instagram began to give me toward the end of 2024, but it was very similar to the physical manifestations of my anxiety: heart racing, throat tight, mind racing. I began to notice those feelings every single time I opened the app. I’d put my phone down and think, “Why do I feel like this?” and more importantly, “Why do I keep doing this to myself?” I’m sure there are psychologists and neuroscientists who could explain the precise impact of scrolling Instagram on cortisol, dopamine, attention, and REM. But I honestly don’t need those explanations to feel the difference in my body.
Do I still have FOMO about what might be on Instagram? (Or, for that matter, TikTok?) Yes. But I’ve decided that “FOMO” is a more desirable feeling than constant low-grade anxiety. Good-bye, Instagram. I don’t miss you at all.
