My Nonbinary Journey Update

©Juan Moyano via

Here’s another update about my nonbinary journey. I wanted to preface this post with a quick discussion about Nex Benedict. At the time of this writing, it is known that their death was a suicide. Even though those involved in the fight were not the direct physical cause of Nex’s death, the fact that the girls were not punished for their actions, that the school didn’t notify Nex’s family members of the fight, and that administrators and others in the school district continued to misgender Nex after their death infuriates and saddens me. I’ve thought about coming out of the darkness and allowing everyone to know my name, but that means that you’d know my family, and that could mean that those out there who deem me as an ‘other’ could potentially harm me or my family. That scares me to no end. 

Nex was singled out because of how they lived freely as themselves. But they didn’t want to be a martyr for being nonbinary. I’m certain they wanted to finish high school and then continue with their life, trying to determine their next steps. They deserved to grow older, to find love, to find joy in the day-to-day, and now they cannot do so. However, this shows once again the power of words, of how being bullied and mistreated can have ramifications many don’t consider. 

The update I was going to share about my nonbinary journey was whether or not to switch my pronouns to they/them and how I am working on updating my wardrobe to fit the version of myself I want to be. I was going to share how excited I was that a nonbinary influencer I follow on TikTok responded to a comment I made about how much I wanted to look like them and have their confidence. But that seems so trivial now. 

I’ll leave you with this: Please, please teach your kids, your friends, and your family to be tolerant of others. I’m not even asking that you teach them to love and embrace those who are different. At the very least, teach them tolerance so that another human isn’t taken away just because they are different. 



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