10 Pretty Crazy Things This Mom Did Today


How did moms survive without the power of the Internet? Without the ability to peer into other moms’ lives and feel just a little less terrible about themselves? With no simple ways to connect with other moms who will talk you off the ledge? I know I love to hear confessions from other moms about how they get from point A to point B each day, so here’s a random sampling of my own personal brand of insanity. Here’s my crazy for the day:

  1. Turned off my daughter’s monitor in the middle of the night because even though her room is pretty far away, I can hear her if she really screams.
  2. When dry shampoo failed to resurrect my hair that hadn’t been washed in five days this morning, decided to fight fire with fire and applied a heaping tablespoon of Argan Oil from root to tip to give what I hoped would read as a “scrunchy, ’90s grunge” look.
  3. Scraped several clumps of dried booger off my daughter’s bed sheet with my thumb nail instead of changing it. All clean!
  4. Stuck my daughter’s big toe in my nostril to make her laugh. #classyAF
  5. Gave my daughter copious handfuls of sugary yogurt bites to keep her quiet so I could finish reading an article on my phone.
  6. Accidentally found myself Facebook stalking an acquaintance from college to figure out if she’s still married.
  7. Drank a fourth cup of coffee at 3 p.m. despite the fact that my hands were still visibly shaking from the last three cups. MORE COFFEE, ALWAYS. I WILL GO DOWN WITH THE SHIP.
  8. Unintentionally started a massive, heated debate on my Facebook page (spanning several different friend groups). The topic? Pros and cons of having a screen door.
  9. Sobbed so hysterically while listening to a podcast on the way home that I had to turn it off and pull over to regain my composure. #hormones
  10. Fell down a black hole of crazy Internet forums about autism and vaccines, then proceeded to convince myself that my daughter was becoming autistic. Suffered through minor panic attack until I was able to leave work, pick her up from daycare, and clutch her tiny body like we’d just been rescued from a deserted island. I am firmly pro-vaccine, but she’s been acting off since her 12-month shots, and I managed to get sucked into the anti-vaccine rhetoric for a day. It can happen to the best of us. The line between anxiety and reality is really hard to navigate some days.

And in case I haven’t fully convinced you I’m secretly a Southern housewife from the ’60s who is rapidly losing her grip on reality, I also called my husband ten minutes after arriving home with my child to demand through tears that he leave work as soon as possible. I’m a real treat.

Any confessions to share today?


  1. Zany moments in my day – I am an empty nester mom – today included picking up from the floor at my local Menard’s a worn red rubber band to use at home; scraping off adhesive residue from an indoor planter drainer dish at my son’s house until it drove him crazy; and bringing home a discarded burlap ribbon from my son’s to put in my gift wrap bin.

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