A Hatred of All Things Slime


slime toys

I hate slime. . . like, I really H A T E slime. There are things in our lives that we say we do not like or do not prefer, but when I say I hate slime, I really mean, I hate slime! When I first joined a local MOPS group, one of the first things I learned about one of our group leaders was how much she hated glitter. I’m looking at you, S.James! I thought to myself, “How silly. How can you hate glitter?” Yeah, it is messy and a little annoying to clean up, but how can you hate glitter? Is it not the thing that makes everyone happy when they see it? I believed her hatred was silly until I met my arch nemesis: SLIME!  I totally understand now. I understand how you can hate something so much, but your child adores it.

A Toddlers Adoration

My three-year-old loves the stuff. He loves the sloppy sound of the plop it makes on the furniture, floors, toys, my carpet, my clean floors, urgh, I hate this stuff!!!! That ooey gooey look and feel and the disgusting slurpy sounds it makes. I thought it could not get any worse until my husband brought home the “farting slime.” Really, my toddler thinks this stuff is the most amazing thing in the world. My husband thinks it is funny to watch my aversion to this snotty goo and destroyer of clothes and carpet.

A Mother’s Disgust

I am a creative person, I went to art school, I enjoy getting my hands dirty with the myriad of projects I like to start and mostly finish. But slime, forget it. I must mentally prepare myself to pick up the bits and pieces left behind after a twenty-minute play session with my little man. And he knows! He giggles the whole time I am sitting there with him; holding back the gagging noises I want to make as he slips it through his fingers. Yuck! Even writing this tirade about my dislike, I am getting the heebie-jeebies as I see in my minds eye, the gooeyness of the latest jar of my most hated enemy.

Pure Happiness

So why buy it? It makes my kid happy. Pure happiness on his face as he plays and torments me with the florescent/shiney goo. I am okay with playdoh, I do not mind putty, but the slip-slop slimy concoction just grosses me out. In our attempt to potty train, slime has made it into our “PeePee Prize Bucket.” It is a motivator. He knows when he “goes” that mommy’s most disliked toy is waiting for him, maybe. Our prize bucket is filled with other cheap toys to keep our little guy on track, but the slime, it’s gold!

Clean Up, Clean Up. . .

Pinterest became my go-to in my attempts to salvage articles of clothing and spots of carpeting that fell victim to my slimy nemesis. The best advice was from several posts, white vinegar. So, my new best friend is white vinegar. My new gallon jug sits under the sink. It even worked on a new favorite shirt after it took a couple tumbles in the dryer. A couple minutes soaking in a bowl of vinegar removed the glob of dried crusty goo from the latest victim of playtime.

Am I the only mother out there who hates this stuff? Do you avoid it or do you just live with the hatred because it makes your kid happy? Sorry S. James, but I’ll take glitter any day over slime!