I’m the first one of my close friends to have a child. I blindly went through conceiving, pregnancy, and postpartum without them. My girlfriends were still single, living their best lives while I was trying to figure out motherhood. Care-free and childless, they did not understand what I was going through, but they tried their best to offer support when I needed it. That’s the thing, though; their support was all I needed.
Having childless friends provides benefits as it does drawbacks. Their presence in my life is a reminder of the youthful years. It is a nudge to the past that reminds me of how much I’ve grown into a woman, moreover, into a mother. Maybe they can’t relate to motherhood, yet, but they can still bring me back to the earlier years. When sleeping in meant sleeping until 11 am, not 8 am and going to bed was at 4 am not 9 pm. It made me ponder on the thought of why exactly I need them, why their friendship helps me more than my friends WITH children.
Why I Need My Childless Girlfriends
- They are oblivious to the unknown. Unknown being motherhood. Having their point of view reminds me to take a step back to see the picture from their eyes. Maybe I’m overreacting, and they can pull me back and see it from a different perspective. Perhaps they don’t understand the pressures of being a mother in this day of age, but they can relieve the pressure.
- They knew me before I became mama. They know what makes me angry and what makes me happy. Becoming a mother puts a weight on your shoulders like no other. They know how to take the weight off and distribute evenly.
- They are an open book. They will listen to me vent. Keyword: listen. They won’t offer advice, but they will offer their ears, which is better than words. I don’t need more people telling tips and tricks on how to do something. I need more people to just listen to me. Validate my feelings.
- They are willing to understand. Whether they are planning to have children in the future or not, they try to see the world from my view. They can only imagine, but the fact that they try makes a difference.
- Lastly, they are funny. When I’m having a bad day, they know how to turn up the laughter. This also loops back to #2, because they knew me before mama. Bringing up old memories to remind me that these challenging moments last a moment but can be softened the memories of yesteryear.
Having these friends are rewarding because life isn’t about surviving; it’s about thriving. I am developing into a better person, not just for my family, but for my friends. Now that I have tiny eyes observing my every move, I have to be a better example. I can’t let every downfall define me; I need them to see how strong I am despite the downfall.
Maintaining these friendships makes me a better mother because, without them, I wouldn’t be the woman I am.