An Ode to My Pooch


At the pool the other day, my 5-year-old son poked at me…right in my good ol’ mommy pooch. He giggled, I giggled, then I shrugged it off and chugged another beer (just kidding). But it did make me reflect on my pooch…what a ride it has been! This pooch and I have been together almost my whole life, through ups and downs (literally), and I’ve grown quite fond of it. Ok, not really, but more accepting of it at least. 

I know I am not alone when I say that the pooch is something many women despise. I just recently blogged about how we should love ourselves, all of us, including our imperfections. So the pooch is just one more little thing to love, right? Riiiiiight?

Though fitness and nutrition can certainly transform your body, sometimes that pooch is pervasive and persistent and just doesn’t want to go away. And if it does go away, ever, that certainly never happens overnight, right mamas?

Following childbirth, some moms experience diastasis recti, the treatable condition where the ab muscles separate. And other moms do not necessarily have that condition, but they definitely lose some toning, core stability and confidence. Whatever the case, the consensus for most moms is that the bump has got to go. But how? Well, again, this is not going to happen overnight, but I have found if you trust the process, stay the course, continue to work out and most importantly, dial in on your nutrition, that pooch will get smaller and smaller. Over time, you will feel like your belly is flatter and flatter. It is good to remember there is no “spot” training cure for “problem” areas on our bodies; it’s an overall working out regularly type of process that although frustrating in spots, just takes time.

Regularly doing cardio is great, and mixing in strength training, yoga, Pilates or your exercise of choice is also sure to have you seeing results. Core work as a supplement to your training and nutrition can ultimately help with progress and results. Looking for some core work ideas? Crunches, planks (front and sides), v-up sit-ups, seated ab twists (Russian twists), hollow rocks, bird dogs, reverse crunches and mountain climbers are just some of the options you can start to incorporate in your workout routine.

At times what frustrates me about my little lingering poochy pooch is that it’s not like I’m not trying here; I am a gym rat hooked on CrossFit, and I have such as passion for fitness and nutrition. Although I am elated with my body transformation, my strength and endurance levels, how my clothes fit and how much energy I have since losing 48 pounds in the past couple of years, I just can’t quite permanently eradicate this little pooch…yet. (I’m coming after ya, you little annoyance you.)

Also, in the meantime, since writing is therapy, and I clearly need much of that (tee hee), here it goes:

An Ode to My Pooch:

My pooch, my little pooch, you have been with me through thick and thin.

I clearly want you out, but you want in.

Oh, my pestering pooch, I had you in my 20s, I was oblivious to fight.

You expanded during the ‘Freshman 15,” with eating pizza and junk while studying at night.

You stuck with me in my 30s, and oh, how I watched you grow. I thought there was a chance you would go away, a big “maybe.”

Yet, when I was pregnant, you didn’t bother me much because, well, BABY!

After delivery, there you were again, POOF! In all your glory, you jerk, I mean, friend.

Poochy pooch, oh, how you have changed sizes over the years, almost, but not quite reducing me to tears…it just never ends.

Now these days I have worked so hard and you’re kind of small, so YAY!

But pretty please, just go away…

Oh my little poochy pooch, I still see you every day, you little witch…

You’ve just never permanently left, you’re like the 30-year itch.

We’ve been through ups and downs.

Even though you’re little now, you just don’t ever want to leave, making me frown.

You’re like an unwanted guest, but I’m still playing hostess.

And no way, I’m not feeding you Hostess…

I stare at you in the mirror almost every day; that’s pretty awful, I know…

When I put on a bikini, you are there, taunting me, you try to make me feel low.

In the shower, it’s like you’re saying, “Howdddyyyy ho!”

Poochy pooch, thank you for never allowing me to wear a crop top.

Poochy pooch, you taught me all about the dreaded muffin top.

Pooch, my little pooch, how you are such a part of me.

Yet, pooch, my little pooch, can’t you see?

It’s time to disappear miss thang, miss poochy pooch, it’s time to be true…

But don’t worry, I won’t ever forget you! There’s pictures and memories, too.

I’m going to stay focused and keep training and eating right…

So be warned, but don’t be scared, little pooch o’ mine: Just go, please follow the light!

The good news here (besides crafting a ridiculously silly ode to my pooch, and writing about a topic that nobody really talks about openly): I have to keep reminding myself a pooch, although pesky, does not have to be permanent. When I think of that, I smile. And you should, too, fellow mamas…even when you’re on your last set of crunches for the day and are feeling the burn! During this ongoing pooch plight, let’s be fierce, let’s be relentless, and most of all, let’s be patient.


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